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Lifestyle

My husband enjoys the lifestyle (swingers) same room we have been together 12 years.  I do not want that in my life any more.  He says if it is consintual then itt does not effect our being Christian.  What do y'all think.
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Avatar universal
Honestly, I think he has and you had (because you want out) some serious issues.  

This lifestyle DOESN'T jive with Christianity.  
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Avatar universal
Thanks for ur response.  I love my husband very much.  I believe the same.  It is serious issues. I believe without God first and following his word toward living a more Christ like life, For myself,  it's killing my spirt, poor choices have been made.  I appreciate your honesty
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Avatar universal
It definitely doesn't fit with the Bible's teaching on marriage.  Marriage in the Bible is one man and one woman.  Yes, there were instances of polygamy, but that was because of man going out of God's design.  Adam and Eve in the Garden.  Christ and the church (as a collective noun, an individual, not each individual viewed separately).  The first is a picture of God's design.  The second is what marriage is a symbol of.

I hope you and your husband can settle things.  Do a word study and have instances of polygamy mentioned that show the Bible does not condone it.  (The one instance that sticks out is the story involving Hagar.  Not exactly polygamy but showing extramarital entanglements are not promoted.)  Then, talk to him.  Show him how you now have been convicted by the way the Bible portrays marriage and no longer can be involved in a swinger lifestyle.  Don't accuse him but definitely point out each instance so it's clear cut.
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'd like to focus on something really important----------  it doesn't matter WHY you don't want to do it anymore------------  you don't.  So, you and your husband need to sit down and you let him know that you will no longer participate in this.  You are not interested in sex with anyone but him and would like him to be faithful to you and only have sex with you from now on.  

Ask him to agree to this and let him know that this is a firm decision on your part.  If he balks at it, as him to go to counseling with you.  If he balks at that, then you go to counseling alone until he will join you.  

I think whatever a couple agrees to do within their marriage is their business.  I'm such a "non swinger" and don't get it at all but if you both were fine with it, then whatever.  But 'swinging' would be something that both people would have to be 100% fine with (which I always wonder if one of the two in a swinging couple just does it to appease a partner that would like to cheat and thinks this is the way to do it without getting in trouble).  If you don't want to do it, it has to stop.

And then back to the Christianity question.  It is okay to evolve in our faith.  And while we did things previously, it is okay to say that this makes me feel sinful and I want to stop.  In fact, it is a good thing. good luck
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Avatar universal
I think Christianity would say "no" -  So would Morals, Standards and Character - (christianity or not!!) - that being said, I would agree with specialmom about one "appeasing" a partner.  I suspect women agree to this cuz they are appeasing their partner as ordinarily it is men who seek numerous partners where as a woman wants exclusivity.  Again, that being said, it's no longer "consentual" if You now have an objection to that "lifestyle".  Marriage being an equal partnership, perhaps now that You want something different, He will comply.  Seems fair to me.
Good Luck.  I hope You'll let us know if He now goes along with what You are asking.
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