Call me sweetheart?

[specialmom]

I was at the Burger King Drive Thru cause I'm classy and the man at the window must have called me sweet heart and honey 12 times.  What are your thoughts?  Do you like it when people call you these types of names, the opposite sex in particular that are random strangers?  

[dominosarah]

It is always interesting to read other responses.  I also realize how simple i live which is a good thing for me.  I know a guy who works at one of the convenience stores.  He is a happy go lucky type of guy, loves his job and the customers.  If he didnt call me sweetheart i would know something was wrong.

[Nighthawk61]

If someone slips me one "sweetie" or "sweetheart" and i don't know them, I automatically think to myself, Seriously?   I don't think "Sweetheart" "Sweetie" "Honey" is professional in any capacity for people that are serving you. Having to hear it repeatedly in one conversation, I would have to hold myself from sayin' "what s'up with the baby talk ?"  and would more than likely lodge a complaint with the management.

Why do i feel this way?

I guess because it comes off to me as possibly phony.number one. The person could be calling every single client an endearing name when they go home and mistreat their own family, or not. My point is the endearing term has no meaning when you don't know where it really comes from, so it automatically makes me feel awkward.

Also, women especially have had to fight to be able to stop their employer from using these types of intimate names, citing that it's sexist. The trifecta would be your much younger male boss asking a much older female secretary to "be a sweetheart and get me my coffee"  While that term might not bother some, it would bother some, so the whole practice ends due to professionalism. So say these rules apply to a lawyers office between staff and boss, and say this rule applies to most offices, Why then would the same reasoning not be in place (professionalism designed not to insult anyone across the board) be expected at a drive through or a restaurant. when dealing with a client?

Bottom line, I think you have to earn the right to say "sweetheart" and I think others need to earn the right to say it.

[Nighthawk61]

and i think others need to earn the right to hear it.

[specialmom]

Interesting perspective Nighthawk61.  I can see where you are coming from for sure.  

[specialmom]

I have mixed feelings.  I use those phrases a lot with other women.  I have that comfort zone and feel like it says "we are sisters".  Some people who use the phrases with me, it comes off sweet and others kind of give me that creepy feeling.  

But I do appreciate polite verses attitude and if they throw a sweetheart or honey in there . . . okay.

My husband for the eons that I've known him has called women 'sugar' when talking to him.  Which was kind of funny when I met him.  But I told him that he now has to watch who he says it to because at his age, calling a 20 year old sugar starts to look a little perv like.  :>)  Not sure if he agrees but I try to help him where I can.  

With my sons and their friends, I tend to go with nicknames that I come up with for them.  They are my own terms of endearment.  

[dominosarah]

I think this goes back to how they were raised.  Those were terms of endearment.  I would much rather have them say that than act like i am a waste of time.  People like that are more in tune to our needs and making sure we get what we ordered.