If you are in a good marriage or relationship, no such thing as a merci F. You see some lonely, unattractive person at a bar and decide to F them, then that is a merci F.
Very well stated above, by both ladies...I agree with both replies.
And I agree that everyone views sex a little differently. I'm a firm believer that sex should be about BOTH partners, and there's no doubt in my mind that it can be SO great when there's an emotional connection rather than just a physical one.
You just have to decide what's important to you. I don't think that a sexual relationship is something that should be entered into so quickly and freely as people do. I think it's important to demand respect...both for ourselves, and our bodies...and being on EITHER end of a mercy **** isn't conducive to getting or giving respect, IMO.
You can't compare "apples with oranges," i.e. "Sex in the City" with real life. I DEFINITELY wouldn't recommend using this tv show as a "guide" to how you should conduct yourself in real life in regards to sex. For example, I work in the medical field and I can tell you "Grey's Anatomy" is NOTHING like the real life medical field. This show is ONLY for entertainment purposes just like this "Sex in the City" show. They are more entertaining than factual.......accent is ON the "entertaining."
"Mercy sex?"........I don't believe in. Mercy to me equals pity on someone. Mercy sex is nothing more than "booty calls" and "casual sex." (definitely in that category) To add.....with all the STDs going around I wouldn't be giving "mercy sex" out like candy. Take a look in the HIV Forum and the STD Forum and you will see what I am talking about.
No judgement here, just giving you "food for thought."
It is YOUR life and YOUR body though.
Totally agree with Specialmom.
All the best.
Well, one important thing to remember is the Sex and the City was a tv show and was on for a very long time needing much material to keep going. it's not real life nor really, a good representation of relationships. those women were 'characters' playing roles and parts and sometimes there characters were flawed. Who would want to be Samantha, for example? I am a women that is a lot older than you and will say that i don't know a samantha. I was single for many years, worked professionally in a career and women like her don't exist. They just don't. Well, let me rephrase, they do. but they are usually depressed and very sad and fighting major std's.
So, being married IS different than casual relationships with a guy and having sex because you feel bad or sorry for them. I've never done that with my husband. I have participated when I'd rather sleep as things began but even then, my husband would prefer me to be an equal partner to the event and want to be involved as much as he does.
From what you write here and in other posts, you have a skewed idea of sex. No, I don't need my husband for a merci anything. We are two grown adults and sex doesn't solve my problems. If I'm in the mood and he isn't, it's the same as the other way around. I'd rather we both feel like it and do it then. I WILL say that once a couple gets started, it does often become mutual so taking that into consideration might make a couple just go for it no matter how they initially felt when it is begining. if that makes sense.
but sex is something different for a lot of people. For me, it is intimacy within the confounds of a close, loving relationship. it's not just an act. And for others, it's just something to do or is just a release.
good luck figuring it all out.
Hi specialmon,
I appreciate your advice; i just hope your not being judgmental about all this???
After watching an episode of Sex and the city where Meranda was 6month pregnant and got a Merci-fu** from steve... i had to ask the question on MedHelp: merci F* = good or bad?
Thank you for your reply :)
So what your sayin is that its ok to do it with your husband...
But so is it okay if your husband does it to you too then? I read in an article that men give more merci****k to women than we know. Especially married couples. Whats your opinion on that?
Wait, what are you agreeing with exactly?
Amen, specialmom. I agree completely!
Jus guessing here...but I think the censored word may be the "f" word...as in a sympathy "lay"?
If that's the question...there's only one obvious answer. Sex shouldn't be something one should do out of pity for someone else..that's actually demeaning and abusive, IMO.
You got censored dear. What are you asking?
different when you are in a committed relationship like marraige and your husband is really in the mood and you aren't so much but you go for it. That isn't a situation where you feel sorry for the guy.
From your other posts to this one, I think you have some serious evaluating of how you are handling your relationships to do. good l uck dear