My Boyfriend is Addicted to Porn

[sammie_s]

Okay my question is this.  I have been with this guy for a year and a half.  I didn't really know anything about him when we got together and about four months after we were together I realized things had gotten weird in the relationship.  Then one day I heard noises from the other room; sexual noises.  I got really upset because I knew what was going on after a few minutes.  I ended up in tears and didn't have the courage to confront him.  I finally did confront him about some pictures of his ex and the porn I found.  He said he watched it for education.  I knew better but I believed him.  Well, it has gotten really bad.  I finally broke down and told him if he wanted to watch it then he could at least include me in on it.  I thought that would keep him from lying to me and going behind my back.  It hasn't.  I asked him about it one day when I got home from running his errands and he denied it but I am positive that's what he was doing.  He downloads something new every day or at least every day he knows I am at work and probably won't see it.  It really bothers me that he has to lie to me about it.  Then when we do anything together I feel like a used rag doll after.  He tells me he loves me so why does he lie to me and make me feel like ****.  I have told him it makes me feel bad about myself and it's like he doesn't care.  I am to the point that I am ready to leave.  Should I just pack my stuff and get out?  I mean he obviously isn't going to change and it hurts me everyday I find more.  I need some real help here.

[vix8]

yup. leave now! the worst part is that he is lying to. lying = trust issues = red flag = mental damage for a next new relationship. and pictures of his ex gf? oh god <3

[heart_broken621]

i am too stuck in the same situation,i've been with my boyfriend for a lil more than a year now, and now has a 5 month lil girl with him.. and ever since i got pregnant his thing for porn got worse, before we watched it togther, i stoped and he continued but bad! befor he goes to work he sets his alarm for a certin time just to come down stairs and watch it, i've cought him many times, like sure i just had a baby and my body is not the same, like i no i see it but he doesnt have to remind me of it.. he can go for months with not having sex with me and when he does the feelings arnt there i can feel it, he says he loves me but doesnt show me, he downloads it every day leaves it lying around. when im giving the baby a bath he watches it, ive tyred talking to him about it but then he ignores me.. i'm at the point where i dont no what to do ive tryed every thing, i feel like im stuck here because of my child with him, i need some good advice!!! :(

[icequeen81]

This is crazy. I truly started falling for my boyfriend of 8 months... but.... He's obsessed with getting off. If I spend a weekend with him he does it 2-3 times a day (perhaps more??) and sometimes wakes me up in bed while he's doing it under the sheets... he sometimes makes jokes about washing the sheets! He was even doing this while we were visiting his friends/family overnight! They would ask me where he was and it's sad because I have to lie for him (oh he has a stomach ache, that's why he's in the bathroom AGAIN for 20 mins)

I don't get it! We have great sex and sometimes I want to he and he looks at the clock and says "good night hun" and an hour later is jerking it! WTF! Sometimes I poke him and he runs into the bathroom or shower to finish. So stupid - like I want to cuddle/kiss after that!!! And he's all "what's wrong?"

I am so hurt and don't know what to do. Part of me is like "hey, I do it too" But when I am alone/miss being touched....He knows this... but I only do it a few times a month or when I am away from him a lot. I have dated over 12 men and never had this issue (this intense at least) He's only had 2 serious relationships and the longest was 7 months (I think I can see why!)
I know he works a lot and wants to release, and be less stressed, I am trying to understand.... but when is too much too much!??!! Should I say something!? I think it's ruining things.... I don't want to have to go through the numbers in my head when I reach for him, I want to want him not worry about doing him 6 times, 10 times, whatever to keep him from masturbating!

[secretyo2]

i m a guys and i watch porn too.
i did not have a woman so i need to get it off(excuse me)
occationally i only see a girl i like one a week at a gym.
i feel like if you are attractive to each other. then you should not hold it back or using it as a tool or create drama. Talk to your men. if you are satisfy him then he do not have to look at porn.
think about it, if he do not use porn but he go out and sleep with someone else or get a prostitute. it could get worst!!!

[beckcakes]

what about VIAGRA?!

im 33 and my boyfriend is 36. i found a porn dvd at his flat for the first time 4 weeks ago and got upset. i tried to keep my cool but realised i had to talk to him about it rather than letting it pickle my head! you see, i have had a problem with porn ever since i found my dads stash when i was about 6 years old.

dont get my wrong, i pretty much hated my dad anyway, but after that i associated porn with dirty old men. i do know that this is my issue and that 99% of men look at it, i just REALLY wish i had never found that dvd at my boyfriends. anyway, i explained everything to him and why i had this problem... he tried to reassure me and said he'd borrowed from a friend, it meant nothing and he wouldnt borrow another one as he could see how upset it made me.

fine. until i then found (accidentally) a huge stash of viagra pills..

hes very ruluctantly and understandably told me he has erectile dysfunction and cant maintain an erection. apparently its been that way for a good few years (weve been together 2 years). he claims hes buying the pills of the internet and self medicating for when he sees me (we dont live together).i was sooo understanding, reassured him it didnt make a difference to me, i love him and will go to see a doctor with him if thats what he wants. however, TODAY i have found another dvd.

my issue is, firstly, the lazy bleeder hasnt had a job for nearly 12 months, is doing seemingly nothing about looking for one, so i am already resenting him for that - which i have explained to him nicely. secondly, he is quite clearly spending his time necking viagra when im not there and watching porn... surely if he put as much energy into finding a damn job then he could get a life and stop getting off to these dvd's?

by the way, in my anger, i took the dvd from his flat this morning without him knowing and came home. i havent said anything and he has no idea ive found it as he wasnt there when i did. what the bloody hell do i do now? mention it, ignore it?

[someone4u]

How did you do it... leave... i am having the hardest time with that. I want to so bad, I know it would be better for me in the long run. but, just making that step and the fear of having no money. my daughter and grandchild live with me and fear of not being able to support them is hard. he not only his this addiction but he hates my daughter. calls her all kinds of names and says my grandchild is a product of a one night stand. this alone should be enough to get rid of him. i want him to leave but just making that step and fearing the unknown and not being able to support my family is frightening. i have been with him for 3 years