A guy who doesn't place any stock in your needs is showing signs of selfishness and a lack of true caring about you. Regardless if he is covering for being gay as RockRose suggested, is doing it because it's tighter or he's in control, or any other reason, he is being selfish--especially if you've brought it up to him and told him you need to be pleased, too, that a relationship is a two-way street. It's not always going to be perfectly 50-50, but an effort needs to be there on BOTH people's parts.
You my need to consider walking away if this guy has such low regard for your needs, but try talking to him about it in a non-accusatory manner and see if he listens. If he doesn't, give yourself a timeline (NOT stated to him as people do not respond well to ultimatums) you are willing to give him to change things, and just walk.
hi Fitness, your trying to please him so much that i think hes starting to loose his sensitivity to you and your needs. With anal sex it is tighter but also he does not have to look at you face to face as with vaginal. A clue to this is when you said that after a few drinks and felt less inhibited. This shows me that he is not that close to you and that there is a certain distance in your relationship as far as him be comfortable with some things. With the anal and oral, you are becoming just an object to him.
I think you might reflect on his true feelings for you. He is revealing part of who is really is.
Best of luck
I don't know what your situation is here, fitnessfreak, but be aware that when men are only willing to do oral and anal sex, and can't maintain an erection during vaginal sex are often covering for being gay. They're trying to live a straight life and so are fantasizing their way through heterosexual sex but they just can't do it with vaginal sex.
Be careful with anal sex because you can damage the anus.It really wasn't designed for anything going up it.Some porn stars that engaged in several anal scenes have a condition called anal leakage now.There is nothing wrong with oral sex or vaginal but the anal sex might cause problems for you in the future.
Herein lies the problem sweetie. The fact that it has been "okay" that you don't make your pleasure a priority as well. This is where feeling like an object comes in. Unfortunately, naturally he, unlike you does not share the same "pleasure" in pleasing you. There's a certain ambiguity here, that needs to be redefined, by YOU. You have to make your sex life more equal, or it will continue to get old, and your relationship will suffer, if you don't. Be brave and self confident, remember he is satisfied, and has everything to lose.