My wife really acted out recently and left, how can I cope with the loneliness

[Bishkek85]

My wife had been mad at me recently saying I was not spending enough time with her. I went to pick her up at her job and she made a real ruckus On the street and refused to come sit in my car, she threatened suicide by jumping in front of a moving car and called her home, her brother then picked her up and sped away to her dads house.
     I'm mad at her, but I also miss her a lot. I was used to looking at her when I woke up in the middle of the night, now when I wake up and find my bed empty I feel terrible. I miss all her antics and the funny things she did. She was very talkative and kept me happy all the time with her jokes and stuff. Now she's not here. What do I do? How do I cope? This house feels empty without her. My life is empty without her. She's pregnant too. We were really really happy about that. She makes me talk to the baby which feels so good. Now she's not here. My friends say I should not call her or she wouldn't learn how badly she's behaved. But the loneliness. It is just so unexpected. How can I cope with this?

[thatquietgirl]

Definitely see a therapist rather than a psychiatrist.  Psychiatrists are to prescribe medication.  Therapists are to work through your issues and find coping mechanisms and watch for your triggers.  While it sounds like your wife may need both, I think you have some issues to work through rather than a need for medication.

Also, don't expect to find someone you click with for therapy super fast.  You may have to see a few different ones before you find one that works for you.

[Bishkek85]

You guys would be surprised how many psychiatric patients end up coming back to their general physicians because the treatment did not work for them. We have a good knowledge of this field and the counselling that is required. Over my career I have seen a lot of psychiatric patients who have been seeing a psychiatrist for years on end and still have not gotten better.

     I will take your advice and go to a therapist for this. Thank you for the wonderful advice you all have given me. Maybe psychiatrists are not as bad as I think they are. I'll keep posting here for a while though, it's nice to hear so many people talk about this and share their thoughts. I cant mention this in front of most of my friends or my larger family. It's just my parents 2 or 3 guys from back in medschool and this forum at this point. Thanks again

[Londres70]

I believe cultural beliefs and norms are playing a HUGE role in this.  

[RockRose]

The particulars in this situation remain a little fuzzy.

Frankly,  it's really hard to believe you're both physicians.

After that,  everything else kind of seems fuzzy and open to interpretation also.

[Londres70]

Agree with SM.  

Professional help is in order here.

[specialmom]

Sir, I believe you should address this as stated in your previous post.  She 'acted out' or had an emotional break down?  You still seem quite confused about this.  I feel less confused as she sounds like she is depressed or suffering some other mental health issue.

How you get through this is to put her above you and your lonliness.  She's clearly in great pain as well.  I would write her a letter about how you promise to be more supportive of her and you want to do whatever you can to help her.  I would contact her father and try to become allies with him i getting her some help.  

I also am going to suggest that you see a psychologist as well to cope with your own feelings.  

I'm frankly a little disgusted with your friend that says 'she behaved badly'.  That isn't what this is about.  Teaching her a lesson?  Please, make new friends that are more educated on mental health and the proper way to be a partner.  

I feel for your wife and I am not sure if this is culteral issues I hear here or not but this attitude concerns me.  I do hear that you would like her back.  Look inward as well as outward.  good luck