Need AdVicE? Happy when he's sober! But when drunk is......?

[Scantyhope]

k so is anyone up? I need some advice on my realationship? I'm dating a guy that drinks quite often, and he isnt a alcholic because he doesnt drink every day... The problem is we live seperate so about 3 days a week when he gets drunk at his house with his roomates he like to text me... It starts off with nice ones when hes sober and then they get somewhat mean and he likes to make me feel bad... Example... I know U dont Love me.     You are better than me and I know everyone I know is? I hate me because I Love you so much?  So with this said when he is sober we are the happiest couple and He doesnt act this way. Im just wondering if anyone knows why people do this? I mean is it their child hood, their past relationships the Alchol? and we are 25 so if this happens with older people I'd like to hear your advice? thanks

[iam1butterfly]

Alcoholism, as with any other addiction, is a symptom of a deep inner struggle within the mind, heart and spirit of the individual.
And, since alcohol is legal and readily available, it is the drug of choice for many.  
I am the daughter of a recovered alcoholic (my father) and, I was in deeply in love with
an alcoholic man.
So, from what I've seen I've concluded that the drinking is an effort to mentally distance oneself (escape) from some sort of tradgedy in one's life... usually something deep within one's past (childhood).
Obsereve your man's behavior and be particularly mindful of what he says when he's drunk... that drunk person will tell you a lot about what they really think and how they really feel. The alchoholic man that I was involved with used to always say "... the drunk and the child always say the truth..."
Also, if someone says that they don't remember what they said or did when they were
drunk... it's not true; they do remember!
And, what Cootos said (above) is quite true.
One doesn't have to drink every day to be considered an alcoholic. It's the extent, not necessaily the frequency, of the alcohol use (abuse) that would suggest addiction.
If the young man that you described isn't an alcoholic now... he's well on his way to becoming one!
  

[Cootos]

First of all you need to learn something..... A person doesnt need to drink everyday to be an alcoholic....What he is saying to you is "mental abuse" he's making you feel down and giulty and sorry for him for no reason at all...It's great that he's a wonderful man "sober", but this is something that he wont stop doing until he realizes he has a problem and learns to control his consumption amounts while drinking. Alcoholics are usually wonderful people...but when they drink it's not the same person your going to see...Good luck!