Hello all. First off I'd like to start out by explaining my situation from start to finish. It's a long story but the details may help me find a solution to the problems and how I can help my girlfriend put her life back together. I believe the details may help better understand the situation and find the problem.
My girlfriend and I met 9 months ago, she is 33 years old and I am 25. I had just gotten out of the navy months prior to us meeting and was also separated from my ex wife at the time. At the time we had met she was going through a bit of depression and anxiety and was also pregnant with another man's child. Her parents had been pressuring her about getting married to the guy who had gotten her knocked up that it is the religious road to take even though he had abandoned her and the growing baby in her womb. They had no respect and a constant dislike and hate for me for no real reason since they had first found out her and I had started dating. It caused her depression to be even worse. They humiliated her and made her feel like an awful person for having a baby with someone and not keeping him around to marry him and give her baby a father completely ignoring the fact I was there doing my best for her. She even on multiple occasions wanted to hurt her parents for not being supportive and always being disappointed and said that she didn't want them to be at the birth. I, of course, trying to be the best guy I can be, insisted she repair her damaged relationship with her parents, if not only for her sanity and take pressure off all of her depression but also for her child's sake to have more than one set of grandparents.
As time went on, she eventually asked me to move in. At first I was hesitant to move in because I was in the process of getting a divorce still that my ex wife was fighting me on, and I hadn't found a job yet since I moved back into my home town area. She insisted that it would make it easier being winter so she and I wouldn't have to drive for 45 minutes through snow and increase risk of accidents while she was pregnant. I agreed but asked her what she felt about me not finding a job yet and she had told me as long as I tried it wouldn't be a problem. So I chose to move in. Her parents were doubly as hateful towards me after they found out I moved in with her, arguing that I had no job, that I was a loser and that I couldn't properly support her. It was true I had no job and had been trying but I don't believe it made me a bad person or incapable of supporting her in so many other ways. I spent the whole pregnancy supporting her emotionally, mentally, helping give her spiritual guidance in her moments of weakness and always loving and cherishing her. We had planned out names together and had one decided on. Then weeks before the birth she started acting strange, and a little distant at time. One day while visiting her parents, which she had finally started to repair her relationship with them, she mentioned that she was planning on naming the baby boy, Joseph. Which was not the name we decided on. I wasn't even asked what I thought. This whole time she had been asking me to be the father, telling me she wanted me to feel like I was part of the time of her life and made a difference. I didn't say anything though, it was her child, and I technically had no right to the baby as it wasn't biologically mine. I was there for the birth which was by far the most stressful time of my life, not just the pain and anxiety my girlfriend was going through but the tension her parents created between me and my own parents. My parents tried to extend their hands in friendship and support and these two literally ignored my parents as if they weren't even in the room. The whole time in the hospital, my girlfriend became disrespectful towards me and my parents. After the birth was over and the next few days got a little better, although I was last to hold Joey after her whole family had first dibs on holding him, she didn't put me on the birth certificate and her father wouldn't give him to me when I would come back up to the hospital after work until Sarah told him to. He fought me holding my own son. Weeks after the birth was stressful but we did ok. At first, Sarah wouldn't wake me up when Joey would cry, for weeks she would get up all through the night and let me sleep. Eventually I seen how it was affecting her and after a couple more weeks of persuading her she finally started waking me up. I fell in love with the baby, and seeing how depressed and sad Sarah looked all the time, I did my best to care for Joey so she could relax, everyday, I spent caring for our son, and doing the chores and more around the house so that all the basic stuff was taken care. After our son was three months old, I incidentally discovered messages between her and her abusive ex that was prior to her ex that had gotten her pregnant. She was "attempting" to be civil with even though she said she had no respect for him anymore since this guy had hit her, but wanted to be civil for work. Yet the messages I had read were personal and they were being emotional support for each other and at times, he bad mouthed me calling me names as well and she never defended me. I was upset and what was worse is she defended him and her rather than being up front that they had been talking so long without letting me know she even talked to him. It had turned out for three months they spoke since right before Joey was born and I had no clue. She eventually went back to work which put her in a worse state of depression than she already was. I ended up having an episode with PTSD and depression from everything feeling like it was going worse and the use of a xanax she gave me. I went into the PTSD psych ward for evaluation on my own accord and they cleared me after a couple days fit for society and told me to seek consoling and medication prescribed to help me deal with my hyper-vigilance and depression. The day before I was released she was there visiting and telling me how she'll be there and support me no matter what.
"I will continue my discussion in the thread as a post to it."