Aa
Raped by step-brother
Hi, I really don't know what to do. I met my dad when I was 16 for the first time. It was a little strange at first, but I was accepted right away by him and the rest of the family. I have 1 half sister, 1 step-sister, 2 half-brothers and a step-brother. I would go over maybe once a month for the weekend, and would party and drink with the family. They were/are big drinkers, drug-users.. Things were going well and I started to feel comfortable with them. My dad finally admitted the reason we'd never met was because my mom wouldn't allow it (which she finally admitted when asked).
Anyways, one weekend while I was there (I was 18 by then), I was drinking and doing drugs with my step-brother (I know, bad, but I was a teen lol) and we were playing pool and having fun, I was really starting to feel "accepted".. Anyways, I was wasted by bed time, and so was he.. My half-brother was asleep on top bunk-bed, he had lower bunk-bed, I made a bed on the floor.. Suddenly he jumped out of bed and on top of me, holding my arms down with one hand, he was straddling me so I couldn't move, and he started pulling my pants off with the other hand, and using his feet.. Saying things like, "we are meant for each other, I love you, your so beautiful" while I was yelling "stop, stop, your my brother, this isn't right" and he was saying "I'm not your brother, I never will be your brother, we should be together" and he had my pants off by then, and raped me.. (the rest is a memory blank).
The next day he was calling me names at the breakfast table. Idk why no one stood up for me . I went home that day, and never contacted my dad for another 8 years.. Anytime by boyfriend (now fiancé) or anyone else asked about my dad I just said he was an ******* and they drink too much.. I finally told my fiancé about 5 years ago what happened.
Then I got pregnant, and my dad is his only grandpa, besides my own 86 year old grandpa. And so I got the urge to get my dad back into my life.. I contacted him, and we've been working on re-establishing a relationship since then.. My son is now 2.
Problem is, our relationship is very strained, there's always this "elephant in the room" feeling.. I never told him what happened.. As a result, my dad and his wife isn't close with me and my son, like he is with the rest of their kids/grandkids. My fiancé doesn't think I should say anything to my dad, but how can we ever have a good relationship with this elephant in the room? P.s. I also posted this in another forum, but someone mentioned on someone elses post that this forum has more active members.
Anyways, one weekend while I was there (I was 18 by then), I was drinking and doing drugs with my step-brother (I know, bad, but I was a teen lol) and we were playing pool and having fun, I was really starting to feel "accepted".. Anyways, I was wasted by bed time, and so was he.. My half-brother was asleep on top bunk-bed, he had lower bunk-bed, I made a bed on the floor.. Suddenly he jumped out of bed and on top of me, holding my arms down with one hand, he was straddling me so I couldn't move, and he started pulling my pants off with the other hand, and using his feet.. Saying things like, "we are meant for each other, I love you, your so beautiful" while I was yelling "stop, stop, your my brother, this isn't right" and he was saying "I'm not your brother, I never will be your brother, we should be together" and he had my pants off by then, and raped me.. (the rest is a memory blank).
The next day he was calling me names at the breakfast table. Idk why no one stood up for me . I went home that day, and never contacted my dad for another 8 years.. Anytime by boyfriend (now fiancé) or anyone else asked about my dad I just said he was an ******* and they drink too much.. I finally told my fiancé about 5 years ago what happened.
Then I got pregnant, and my dad is his only grandpa, besides my own 86 year old grandpa. And so I got the urge to get my dad back into my life.. I contacted him, and we've been working on re-establishing a relationship since then.. My son is now 2.
Problem is, our relationship is very strained, there's always this "elephant in the room" feeling.. I never told him what happened.. As a result, my dad and his wife isn't close with me and my son, like he is with the rest of their kids/grandkids. My fiancé doesn't think I should say anything to my dad, but how can we ever have a good relationship with this elephant in the room? P.s. I also posted this in another forum, but someone mentioned on someone elses post that this forum has more active members.
Lisa and sincerely, your posts hadn't shown up yet when I posted that comment.. Sorry for the confusion :)
i totally agree with sincerely...is your relationship with your dad worth it?
Thank-you sincerely and Lisa, I've read over both your comments a couple of times; talking about this does help.. I do feel I'm past the pain, but the pain of feeling as though he's taken any chance I had of getting to know my dad, does still haunt me.
After getting this all off my chest has also helped me to realize that.. As much as I'd like for my son to not lose out on getting to know his grandpa, that maybe it's not the best environment for him anyways..
The hard part most likely won't be trying to convince my dad.. The one thing I'd have going is, I'm blood and step-bro isn't, and he hasn't changed his ways at all.. He's Worse, it seems.. Heavy into drugs, anger issues.. And he's got a 2 year old, with one on the way.. But mostly I'm afraid of it causing a rift between my dad and his wife, who seem to be very happy together. She's always been caring towards me, but step-bro is her son.
After getting this all off my chest has also helped me to realize that.. As much as I'd like for my son to not lose out on getting to know his grandpa, that maybe it's not the best environment for him anyways..
The hard part most likely won't be trying to convince my dad.. The one thing I'd have going is, I'm blood and step-bro isn't, and he hasn't changed his ways at all.. He's Worse, it seems.. Heavy into drugs, anger issues.. And he's got a 2 year old, with one on the way.. But mostly I'm afraid of it causing a rift between my dad and his wife, who seem to be very happy together. She's always been caring towards me, but step-bro is her son.
reading your post again… i think you know what you have to do… you say you want the relationship and the only way is to remove the 'elephant in the room'… its just a matter of gaining the confidence and the strength.
Perhaps if your fiance would have said that you should tell.. you wouldnt even be wondering what to do. Dont expect people to get it or relate to the situation. You lived it, you still live it… your the best person to get advise from.
Perhaps if your fiance would have said that you should tell.. you wouldnt even be wondering what to do. Dont expect people to get it or relate to the situation. You lived it, you still live it… your the best person to get advise from.
It sounds like you want a relationship with your dad, and for your son to have one too… Either way, it is easier to reveal what happened than to keep this secret. The drugs and everything have nothing to do with the situation…
If you could be OK with not telling, than you wouldnt have made this post. Be strong! good luck
If you could be OK with not telling, than you wouldnt have made this post. Be strong! good luck
p.s sorry for saying you seem pretty down on last post there...obviously you are or have issues or wouldnt of posted...i didnt mean it like that...x
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