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Please help, my son and his pregnant girlfriend live with me
I love my son with all my heart and when I found out he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant I really didn't know what to think. After many long talks, my son decided full heartedly he wanted to be in this childs life and I have wanted a grandchild for a long time. They couldn't afford an apartment let alone a baby so I offered to let them move in here and even watch the baby after maternity leave. So now they're living here and she's 5 months pregnant. She is the rudest person I have ever met, she has no manners, and she makes me feel uncomfortable in my own home like I'm walking on egg shells. She lives in this princess mentality and she wants things to be all about her all the time. She is very passive aggressive and tries her hardest to either hurt my feelings or make my blood boil. She has a fit over paying $150 a month and has never thanked us once for staying here. She avoids me and my husband like the plague and only speaks when spoken to. If anyone has any advice please tell me I'm at the end of my rope.
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COMMUNITY LEADER
Ugh, well. This is really hard. Because the reality is, right now she has something to hold over your head. What? Your grandchild and maybe even your son. I have a suspicion this may not work out as it was unplanned and they appear to be together because of the baby (in your statement that he most definitely wants to be in his child's life). Time will tell. but this is such a delicate dance for you. Because if you act on your feelings--- she goes elsewhere taking baby and possibly your son with her. That would KILL me. Not that I want to be a doormat for a selfish diva. But she's got a bit of power here unfortunately.
I think it will be better when she doesn't live with you. But you'll probably always be working to appease this young woman. Which is unfortunate. If she and your son split, he needs to go to court and fight for joint custody. Then you are golden . . . you'll get to see your grandchild during HIS time. But with her involved, she may be a real barrier. If you want her around, you have to kind of put up with her. Sad to say, but that is the reality.
We trust our kids will pick great people to be with . . . very unfortunate when they don't. I'm very sorry for that. I sure hope it gets better. hugs
I think it will be better when she doesn't live with you. But you'll probably always be working to appease this young woman. Which is unfortunate. If she and your son split, he needs to go to court and fight for joint custody. Then you are golden . . . you'll get to see your grandchild during HIS time. But with her involved, she may be a real barrier. If you want her around, you have to kind of put up with her. Sad to say, but that is the reality.
We trust our kids will pick great people to be with . . . very unfortunate when they don't. I'm very sorry for that. I sure hope it gets better. hugs
Oh my Sun0089, she sounds like a piece of work.
Hon, you can always change your mind and plans. I wouldn't be allowing that back and forth business. If her mother can give her a roof over her head, then she doesn't need to be living in your home too as that makes ZERO sense.
Is this relationship between your son and this girl stable? The reason why I asked this is because she is staying at her mother's at night.
Why don't you talk to your son and put everything out on the table about how you feel and what you would like to happen. I can't guarantee this gf will come around and bond with you and your husband. Maybe this will change after the baby is here? Not sure. Sounds like her mother spoils her and she is expecting you all to do the same. If she's a spoiled princess wanting everything her way there isn't much you can do to change her as she has to want to change.
Was this gf like this before the pregnancy? I know hormones can really cause some women to turn into hell on wheels, however, there is really NO excuse for her bad behavior.
30 and living at home shouldn't be happening here. They need to save up quickly and move out like most adult people do.
Hon, you can always change your mind and plans. I wouldn't be allowing that back and forth business. If her mother can give her a roof over her head, then she doesn't need to be living in your home too as that makes ZERO sense.
Is this relationship between your son and this girl stable? The reason why I asked this is because she is staying at her mother's at night.
Why don't you talk to your son and put everything out on the table about how you feel and what you would like to happen. I can't guarantee this gf will come around and bond with you and your husband. Maybe this will change after the baby is here? Not sure. Sounds like her mother spoils her and she is expecting you all to do the same. If she's a spoiled princess wanting everything her way there isn't much you can do to change her as she has to want to change.
Was this gf like this before the pregnancy? I know hormones can really cause some women to turn into hell on wheels, however, there is really NO excuse for her bad behavior.
30 and living at home shouldn't be happening here. They need to save up quickly and move out like most adult people do.
They are both 30, and they both work but don't make a lot between each other and the pregnancy caught us all by surprise. Them living here was to let them get on their feet, save money and be out in 1-1 1/2 years. Lol I've only made it 7 weeks, what was I thinking
She gets along great with her family and anyone she wants to get along with, or if there is a chance she could get a baby present or money from. Her mother just moved into a brand new apartment and actually gave her the master bed/bath, so she goes over to her moms to spend the night and my son is like WTF. The problem seems to be with me and my husband, and sometimes my son and even my mom. She likes to play games and so we end up tiptoeing around her b/c I refuse to play. I was keeping the peace but after 7 weeks I dont know that I even care any more. All I wanted was to gain another daughter and grandchild, but she does not want to be friends or family with us.
Well, it's unfortunate this has happened.
How old is your son? How old is the gf?
"They couldn't afford an apartment let alone a baby so I offered to let them move in here and even watch the baby after maternity leave."...........Do they have any plans on moving out ever? Is your son working? Is she working?
You need to sit down with your son and his gf and talk about future plans and what you will and will not accept in your home while they are staying there.
How old is your son? How old is the gf?
"They couldn't afford an apartment let alone a baby so I offered to let them move in here and even watch the baby after maternity leave."...........Do they have any plans on moving out ever? Is your son working? Is she working?
You need to sit down with your son and his gf and talk about future plans and what you will and will not accept in your home while they are staying there.
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In general, is she just socially completely clueless - that is, she doesn't get along with her parents, doesn't have any nice decent friends, doesn't get along with bosses at work, etc., or do you sense it's specifically that she feels uncomfortable with an inlaw type relationship?