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Rough Breakup
I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. I found out he had been lying and stealing. He went as far as to steal my mother's boyfriends engagement ring and then I found it and he gave it to me and proposed. When I found out it was a stolen ring I got extremely upset and hurt that he lied to me and my family like that. I went to his house to get some things and he tells me he doesn't think we can be together..shouldn't that be my choice considering I haven't done anything wrong. When I went to his house I saw on his phone a text message to one of his friends saying he made out with a girl he met at college the same day we broke up. Please tell me how this could be. How could I date someone for three years and not know he was like this. Is it worth getting back into this relationship if he gets the help he needs? I don't want to be alone but I know jumping to a different relationship will just make it worse.
you're 20 years old. there are plenty of wonderful, healthy young men out there to choose from. leave him and his problems for someone else to deal with
"...I know jumping to a different relationship will just make it worse."--my thinking is that dating is about trying out, figuring out, and if you like, stay for a while, and if you don't, move on find someone new
good luck with it
"...I know jumping to a different relationship will just make it worse."--my thinking is that dating is about trying out, figuring out, and if you like, stay for a while, and if you don't, move on find someone new
good luck with it
"He went as far as to steal my mother's boyfriends engagement ring and then I found it and he gave it to me and proposed."
It wasn't bad enough to be a thief but to steal from family takes it to an even worse level. He has no respect for you or your family. Please tell me you said no.
"When I found out it was a stolen ring I got extremely upset and hurt that he lied to me and my family like that."
Hurt? What about pissed off? Don't put up with this c r a p from anyone.
"I went to his house to get some things and he tells me he doesn't think we can be together..shouldn't that be my choice considering I haven't done anything wrong."
You should get all of your things before he gives them to another female which would be another form of stealing. You should have already told him where to go when he stole the ring.
"When I went to his house I saw on his phone a text message to one of his friends saying he made out with a girl he met at college the same day we broke up."
Why were you looking at his phone? Why do you care?
"Please tell me how this could be. How could I date someone for three years and not know he was like this."
Were there any signs that you ignored? Were your family or friends ever concerned about how he was?
" Is it worth getting back into this relationship if he gets the help he needs?"
NO. What kind of help do you think he needs? I have never heard of Loser therapy.
"I don't want to be alone but I know jumping to a different relationship will just make it worse."
This is called co-dependant. Please work on getting yourself healthy so you will be able to find someone healthy to be in a relationship with. What was your childhood like? Was there anyone in your life that put you down? Why do you think you deserve this? You should not settle for less than you are willing to give to a relationship.
It wasn't bad enough to be a thief but to steal from family takes it to an even worse level. He has no respect for you or your family. Please tell me you said no.
"When I found out it was a stolen ring I got extremely upset and hurt that he lied to me and my family like that."
Hurt? What about pissed off? Don't put up with this c r a p from anyone.
"I went to his house to get some things and he tells me he doesn't think we can be together..shouldn't that be my choice considering I haven't done anything wrong."
You should get all of your things before he gives them to another female which would be another form of stealing. You should have already told him where to go when he stole the ring.
"When I went to his house I saw on his phone a text message to one of his friends saying he made out with a girl he met at college the same day we broke up."
Why were you looking at his phone? Why do you care?
"Please tell me how this could be. How could I date someone for three years and not know he was like this."
Were there any signs that you ignored? Were your family or friends ever concerned about how he was?
" Is it worth getting back into this relationship if he gets the help he needs?"
NO. What kind of help do you think he needs? I have never heard of Loser therapy.
"I don't want to be alone but I know jumping to a different relationship will just make it worse."
This is called co-dependant. Please work on getting yourself healthy so you will be able to find someone healthy to be in a relationship with. What was your childhood like? Was there anyone in your life that put you down? Why do you think you deserve this? You should not settle for less than you are willing to give to a relationship.
Read this book: "the girls guide to surviving a break up" by delphine somebody. breakups are horrible, but it seems to me you dodged a bullet, so way to go!!!!! it could've been SO much worse. this guy was trouble. my father always said don't tie yourself to a wild horse!
let go. never go back. get with yourself about how you missed the signs but be GENTLE with yourself. grieve then pick yourself up. get your trust in men back. HEAL. you are going to be alone if you STAY with this guy, think about it. your self esteem is thrashed right now. the only thing you need to focus on is you and getting on with your life without him.
you will be better than ever, just wait and see.
let go. never go back. get with yourself about how you missed the signs but be GENTLE with yourself. grieve then pick yourself up. get your trust in men back. HEAL. you are going to be alone if you STAY with this guy, think about it. your self esteem is thrashed right now. the only thing you need to focus on is you and getting on with your life without him.
you will be better than ever, just wait and see.
I'm so sorry about your break up. It must be real rough.
You shouldn't be afraid to be alone. I would rather be alone than be with the wrong person. Besides, you get a lot of freedom..
You're so young. I'm more sad for you that you're going to lose trust in men. I hope you don't.. not everyone is a criminal. I know you feel that you lost your sense of judgment as well.
Don't jump into another relationship right now. If I were you, I would take at least a year and work on taking care of you. Concentrate on school. Go to the gym.
If your ex bf cleans up his act (on his own) and courts you properly looong down the road.. I wouldn't necessarily dismiss it.
Personally, I would be relieved to find out that he's a liar and criminal before you married him.
Good luck.
You shouldn't be afraid to be alone. I would rather be alone than be with the wrong person. Besides, you get a lot of freedom..
You're so young. I'm more sad for you that you're going to lose trust in men. I hope you don't.. not everyone is a criminal. I know you feel that you lost your sense of judgment as well.
Don't jump into another relationship right now. If I were you, I would take at least a year and work on taking care of you. Concentrate on school. Go to the gym.
If your ex bf cleans up his act (on his own) and courts you properly looong down the road.. I wouldn't necessarily dismiss it.
Personally, I would be relieved to find out that he's a liar and criminal before you married him.
Good luck.
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