Son's ex-girlfriend claims she is pregnant with his child. Need advice please!

[Pam 2006]

This is a tough one for me.
My son's ex girl friend claims she is pregnant with his child.  He says no way.  He said he wore 2 condoms and pulled out. When he mentioned that he will seek a paternity test she got nervous.

My son is in a wonderful relationship with a girl and now this is hanging over his head!

If he wore 2 condoms and pulled out before climaxing, how can she be pregnant?  She claims she is 6 months pregnant.

She is known to lie about things in the past.  She doesn't want child support she is just afraid that he will come after the child.  My son shows no interest in this girl or her baby because he knows it cannot be his.  But, what if it is.  I will have a grandchild out there and not know it?

Please give some advice!  Should he mention this to his girlfriend now or not tell her?

[Pam 2006]

O.K.  I will not call her.

My concern is that my son has got it in his head that he is NOT the father and is going on with his life.  It is just the unknown that bothers me.

I don't mention it to him because he doesn't want to talk about it.

The 2 condom thing he told me was for real.  My son would never lie to me as he would have no reason to.  He did say that if it was his, he would take care of it.  He is not trying to get away from his responsibilities, but has tunnel vision now.  All the focus is on his new love.

Now, can he get in contact with the doctor where she went and tell him that he wants the paternity test right after the baby is born?  Won't this make the doctor think it is his baby?  Or maybe he should call and tell him that she is trying to say that it is his and he is requesting a test?

How should he go about this?

Thank you!

[Trialanderror]

I would let her know that no paternity test = end of story. No more phone calls to any of you guys unless nothing but the facts are known. I am sure you have no time for mind games, neither does your son.

[Trialanderror]

I was puzzled, too. Why would she inform him he is the father but does not want child support nor any of his involvement? It can only be a psychological thing to make him feel bad in his new relationship or to test his eagerness to get back with her. Would be good to get the facts via peternity test.

[Pam 2006]

Exactly what I am thinking!

Now you know my concerns!  I am trying not to make a big deal out of this.  If I was the parent to this girl don't you think I wouldn't be calling the fathers parents and finding out what he plans to do to help her.

And if it were me and I knew for a fact that he was the father, I would be trying to get all the financial help and support that I could.  

So, if the mother doesn't consent to a paternity test, then my son cannot get one?  I heard her say that she did not want any support and could not afford a paternity test.  My son said he would get one and pay for it.  she got off the phone really quick.

Now you know why this is all too confusing.

what would you do?
Thanks

[peekawho]

If the girl does not agree to a test, I imagine he'll have to go to court to get a court order.  He can't get one by calling her doctor.  

Part of the test involves testing the baby, so if the mother does not give consent, the court must order it.  If he pisses this girl off enough, she'll refuse and he'll have to get a lawyer and the whole nine yards.

He should be civil to the girl, and say he'll take care of his responisibilites but just wants a test to protect all concerned.  She might agree.

[surfergirl602]

why would he wear two condoms?  That's even more risky than wearing just one.  And if he was wearing protection, why would he pull out?  Have him go to court and get a paternity test when the baby is born so that she can chase after him for child support later in life, or put his name on the birth certificate.