Trust

[PassionFlower09]

How do you trust someone who lies to you? My husband, has been lying to me about  a relationship, supposedly platonic, he has been having with a female since Aug. Now he claims that he doesn't speak to her and that he is not lying anymore. Now he expects me to just not be upset and move on. But it is really hard. Some days for me  are good, others are bad. It seems like every other day I start to think about the lies he told , I get upset, and confront him.  So every other day, we argue because I mention the lies he has told, or I ask him if he has spoken to her or seen her. But It is just really hard to trust again Especially when he on so many occasions looked me in the eye and lied to me without blinking. Imagine you know that someone has been lying to you and when you confront them they call you crazy.Then you find out later that they really were lying. I just feel as if I have no more forgiveness to give- the well is dry. I gave him so many opportunities to tell me the truth.

It is just so stressful and heart breaking. I don't know if things will ever be the same.

[PassionFlower09]

Thanks to everyone.

I am still having difficulty.

Lovemykids465- I don't think he gets it. He still keeps those ******* telephone numbers in his phone, which he hides from  me. He acts as if I am the one who errored. He was supposed to be my friend, and he  treated me this way. Honestly,  I want him to be as hurt as I am.

EVERY day is a struggle for me. I am split: I love him and I hate him for this. I don't believe he will stop talking to this person.  Right now I am just broken.

I wish I were as fortunate as you lovemykids465. Believe me, I gave him so many changes. I just want my old life back- I don't think it is possible anymore.

[bigblues101]

Just leave him since its not working out for you or throw every single phone number away or deleted it and tell him to leave the house and don't come back.

[lovemykids465]

I am so sorry. I know your pain. I still feel it at times. I do not know if it will ever go away. Yesterday was a bad day for me too. I called him at work and I could hear her voice in the background. Really pissed me off. ( She works with him, she was trying to get him to sign off on some papers and was mad he was mad that he was on the phone and making her wait she was complaining) Any way bought back the feelings again.Went to a christmas party and found myself watching him to see if he was looking at any other woman ( was not ) but was mad that he was not giving me the attention I wanted ( I know that sounds shallow) any way caused a fight when we got home b/c when home he decided to pay bills and watch TV so I just went to bed. When he came up I threw it all up in his face again. I do not know why. Decided after holiday we would try a trial separation. But he called me crying from work today saying that is not what he wants and he realizes he is not there for me emotionally the way I need him to be. It really was just me being a *****. I have my days but he is patient with me. I did delete all the #'s out of his phone and still check.

If your husband is not remorseful or willing to meet your needs you may need to separate. Maybe it will wake him up but it may not you have to know when it is time to leave. Check out Mort Fetel on line. may help you.

[PassionFlower09]

lovemykids465,

Thanks. I know exactly how you feel. I am feeling the same thing.  It is so hard.  Did you go to counseling?  I will check out Mort Fetel.

I am sorry to hear that you husband works with that harlot.  I hope everything works out for you.  You seem  very strong, and you give me strength.

PF

[jo929]

Of course you have a hard time trusting him after what he has done, but have you forgiven him and decided to stay, if so i agree with miami you are going to have to quit bringing it up all of the time, or he will get tired and just leave if you want to leave leave and if you want to stay try not to bring it up, and just hope that he stays a good husband  luck  jo

[PassionFlower09]

Or I could do exactly what he has done.

PF