Well all of this did give me a wake-up call. I am not so naieve
anymore. Sad to say, I learned the hard way. I guess I needed this lesson.
Yes, we did get a bit of counsel but the web site helped me more. We did get a marriage work book too that we did together that helped alot. I agree if you want to work it out try not to bring it up so much. It only hurts you in the long run. I know what you mean about the friend thing. My husband was my BF i thought. I think that hurt even more. If you need to talk or even vent this is a great place to do it. I found myself having violent thoughts toward both of them so I just spent more time at the gym. Payed off in two ways. I wish I could say things will get better soon but it is a daily struggle of ups and downs but it does get better with time if you choose to forgive and let go. You will never forget and neither should he but you can not be his conscious. Believe me I tried it made things worse. Let time heal .
im sorry that he lied and cheated on u. he needs to understand that u have been on an emotional rollercoaster with the mess he has made. but u need to figure out is he going to be faithful and trustworthy to you. if he is try to to accuse him all the time. dont trust him til ur ready but if there is an issue that makes past issues be brought up do it in a way where ull b able to get ur point across as why u r asking these questions so hell understand that u r trying to trust him and he wont get all defensive where u think hes trying to hide something. see how its a vicious cycle that repeats itself? good luck to you both
Anytime. You are not alone and your thoughts are completely normal. You've been hurt and when that happens you want them to feel the same pain. I have made my relationship work but it took a lot of hard work and I still struggle. Its still a new pain for you so it will take time. Good luck!
Mami 1323,
Thanks for the reminder; I am nominating you as my conscious. : )
P.F.
So get a girlfriend. You don't need to stoop to his level. If he is not meeting your needs than leave him and then you are available to meet someone else. u know how you feel believe me, my fiancé had a 2 year affair so I understand when you say you lost a friend. I had those thoughts of hurting him just like he did me but it wouldn't be me. Plus I allowed him to look bad and didn't make myself look equally bad. You have the power to make your own decisions just make sure that you can still look at yourself in the mirror and like who you are.