When a Friend becomes an Energy Suck

[CRSeaside]

How do you cut ties with a one way type of friendship ?
A former neighbor of mine decided she'd be my best friend. She comes over to my house mainly to hide from her tenants. ( she's an Apartment Manager). Then she sits around & smokes pot, blowing up at our freshly painted ceiling.Coughing, smoking, hacking,smoking,all afternoon.
   It's supposedly Great medical marihuana,but I think she has lung problems.
    She's sh*t for a favor, I'd rather walk to LAX than ask her.
     I stupidly gave her $300 to tidy up the Long Beach place & dust,for when husband return from China.
        Right. She took $300. Took pool key. Don got home, wanted to use Juccuzi. Emled me here in Costa Rica,MAD!

[CRSeaside]

Thank you all so much!
Just knowing that I'm not alone up against this women makes a difference.
  I make a mistake when I give money to people. I think of how I would repay such kindness. Instead of figuring if the other person is devious.
    Thanks again for all the great advice!  Pamela

[Londres70]

I can relate to this situation minus the pot smoking in my home.  

I find that the direct/to the point approach is the best vs. the passive-aggressive approach, i.e. avoiding her and not answering her phone calls.

Just tell her that you don't appreciate her behavior and her using you and your home to hide from tenants and to smoke pot.  Let her know you like a quiet, drama-free life and your home is a pot-free environment and that you don't think a friendship between you two is possible.  Point out.  Make it short and sweet with a "goodbye and I wish you all the best" at the end.

Doubt if you get your money back, but try and get your pool key back.  

You don't need this nonsense in your life.  Get rid of her ASAP.

[BluCrystal]

You are not a doormat.  Tell this woman that you don't like the smell of pot and to please do it elsewhere.  As well, tell her that you are sickly (not entirely a lie) and that you require more rest and relaxation alone than most people, so you will call her if you want company. :-)

[specialmom]

Hi.  Well, sounds like you found a user to hang out with.  Set boundaries.  Personally if she isn't a long time friend and you get nothing out of the relationship, don't feel bad about cutting ties.  You don't have to be cruel or nasty about it, but just say you're busy, getting ready to go somewhere, have some things to do . . .  so she can't come over or come in if she just shows up.   If you do let her in your place---  tell her no smoking.  

I'd write the 300 bucks off but try to get your pool key back.  never lend money to someone as wishy washy as this.  

Personally, I'd be done with her.  good luck