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Who would you choose?

Am married for 5 years and have a son of 3years old. My relationship with my husband was not good every time. We fight a lot but everytime we solve our problem. Last time we had a fight which had me leaving his house and comingat my parents. We used to live his parents. I used yo be too depressed and chose to leave from there. However some days after we had talked and solved our differences. We are currently waiting for a house which will take approx 2 more weeks. Meantime here my parents specially my father hates my husband. My familly wants me to break up and end my marriage because of my husband past behavoiur. I on the other hand want to give my relationship a chance and move to our new house. In the mean time we do not have any place to go and my husband asks me stay at my parents place with our son while he stays in our car. I cannot tolerate it when they talk bad about my husband. I have choose to not keep contact with my familly when we move. Am i taking the right decision?
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973741 tn?1342346373
COMMUNITY LEADER
With the things you've shared previously, your husband does not treat you well.  This is not about choosing one side or another, this is about you.  You deserve better and I think ultimately will be happier without this toxic man in your life.  I am very pro family typically.  I don't lightly tell a young mother to abandon her marriage but he's up and down in terms of his behavior toward you and I'd start a new life without him.

And I see this isn't what you asked.  LOL  I decided to leave this because I think that is advice you REALLY need to read.  You've given information previously.  Your gut probably knows how this is going to end . . .  but you aren't ready to walk away.  Your parents most likely have decent reasons to dislike him and they are worried about you.  You would be very foolish to not keep in contact with your family.  You most likely will very much need them in the future.  

So, no, I'd not make this decision.  And your husband is further isolating you from normal life if you do.

Go stay with your parents.  I get that you don't want to hear it but there might be some reality in there that you need to hear.  Your choice.  but your husband has put you through a lot.  And down the road, my guess some his character issues that have hurt you will resurface.  good luck
2 Comments
Specialmom they dont hate him because of his behaviour towards me. I have never told my family about these problems. Its all started febuary last year when my brother and my husband was smoking pots at my bothers place. My nephews saw it and told my elder sister and the whole family since then blames and hate my husband telling him that he drugs. We had stopped coming at my parents place and then one day my father had asked my husband to forgive him. At my behest he did so and we wanted to mend things. But now after a year they dont want to see my husband. They still hates him.

After all that incident i saw how my sibblings are hypocrite people. They used to smoke with my husband but they act as they have never touch a cigarette in their life. Even if i did leave my husband one day i will never stay at my parents place. I fear that one day they will reproach me for staying here.

Yesterday new year eve my husband and i had promised each other to change our behaviours.

We never had a chance to stay on our own but in a few days we will get our house.

I want to give it a chance so that one day i dont regret for not doing it.

Can people really change for the better i dont know. Will our relationship bf better without our previous issues. I dont know but should i give it a chance?


If you give it a chance with your husband, that's a separate matter than cutting off your parents for your husband's sake.  I would never do that especially with this rocky relationship that really legitimately could end.  Instead, talk to your dad and say that you are going to stay married for now and you'd like his support.  And if he can't give that, to just show respect to not bash your husband.  But . . .  you are probably going to need your parents.  Want your parents.  

You don't have good clarity right now, hon.  Time will tell what will happen but cutting off your family and parents is shooting yourself in your own foot.  

Let us know how it goes.  

PS:  people see far more than you think. They see our eyes when they are sad.  They hear things you don't think they can.  And if they know us very well . . .  they just know.  Your dad may KNOW in his own way that something is wrong here without knowing the details.  

hugs
495284 tn?1333897642
Does your husband smoke alot of pot?  Any other drugs?  How is his behavior when he is high?
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