Why am i not into sex?

[ErinZoe23]

Okay soooo i find im not really into sex. There are times when i am horney but very rarely. I fine having my bf kiss me touch me or even want to have sex disgusts me? I know we ourselfs have had bad emotional issues together just plain bad relationship problems. And i also self analyzed myself and understand where some of the not wanting to hvae sex comes from past experiences. BUT how do i want to have sex? My bf is perfectly understanding about it all I just straight tell him im not into it. But i woudl like to be into it and not have the image of me and him having sex totally turn me off? But then again if i think about another guy fantasy thing when masterbating or just thinking about it i want to have sex and turns me on just not with him? Did he hurt me or let me down so much that i am just disgusted in him now? we been together 3 yrs and lived together 2 and half kicked him out like 4 months ago. I dont know is this like my sub conscience telling me something? Sorry for all the questions kinda just thinking out loud.

[ErinZoe23]

thank you guys for the info! I wrote u an email specailmom it has alot of info so sorry if so long but i see you have that purple flower thingy so you are proably the best one to write it to!

And mayflowers i was kinda scared to google the word asexual lol I didnt know what you may think i was lol But i see now that that could possibly be it  steming from past experiences and how  iact now that id rather be by myself and i make myself more happy and enjoy it more by mysself then actaully acting it out with a partner could fit very well! Thnks again!

[mayflowers]

you could be asexual.  nothing wrong with that.

[specialmom]

Well,  sexual feelings can be tricky.  You don't need to answer this here . . . but I wonder if you've had any sexual abuse in your past.  Once we become an adult, people react in two ways after sexual abuse.  They either are overly sexualized or they find it hard to be initimate with a boyfriend/husband.  They do things subconsciously to push them away (many gain significant weight, for example).  So, if anything like that has ever happened to you, I would strongly suggest some counseling to sort it out.  
If that is not the case and this just pertains to your boyfriend, well sure.  Intimacy is often a barometer to the health of a relationship.  No sexual feelings torwards him equals the relationship isn't going well.  You are a young woman.  You should be happier than this in a relationship anyway.  That is just my opinion.  If you still want to work on the relationship even with this red flag-------  then, I'd start couples counseling.  It may or may not save it.  But I usually say that if you feel that way while dating, I wouldn't take the relationship forward.  Marriage is hard hard work.  You need to have solid ground in the dating phase to have the best chance of a successful marriage.  goodluck