Just be straight with him. Tell him tha either you are with me in a relationship or I am gone. Hanging out for 9 months and if he truly loves you then not being in a relationship should not be a concern of his.
Butterfly, he is using you for sex.
Reading your post is awful, really. He wants to keep having sex with you but he doesn't want to acknowledge you publicly because he's still available.
And that's the truth.
I really wish you well. This whole load of garbage that he was hurt 2 years ago and so he wants to only have sex with you but not acknowledge your relationship publicly is hooey.
Best wishes, butterfly.
I'm with RockRose here. What she said is exactly what popped in my head as I was reading your post. Tell him how you feel and see where you stand. If he isn't on the same page, then continue to have a friendship, but date other people as well. Keep your options open. I wish you the best!
Proceed with caution and put your emotion in check right away! This guy is on a rebound and how could it be that you both are not even dating the right way and telling each other "I Love you"? There is a lot of mix signals here and he is not ready or stable to offer you a committed exclusive relationship.
You can't change anyone but yourself. I would back off and let him make up his mind if he is ready to open his heart again and commit to a loving relationship, but to be honest with you, I don't see it. Step back and if he approaches you then discuss your feelings and concerns, but if you continue to sleep with the guy, he will have it too easy and not take you serious. Step back and proceed with caution on he will break your heart.