Drug use, past or present

[calmshell]

What do you feel about someone who either used drugs in the past, or in the present.. are they a dealbreaker, or do you hope for the best if it is not 'hard drugs' (weed) because you enjoy them, and have feelings for them? and, have you ever had a friend or boyfriend who used?

[Nighthawk61]

Well , the fact is that it isn't legal, so there could be legal problems down the road. It shows up on blood tests that employers and doctors take. (Any doctor that prescribes narcotics to a patient take a blood test to see if the narcotics that they are prescribing to a patient are being sold, or taken by the patient) so that could cause problems for a doctor, and they could give walking papers to your partner when he is in desperate need for medication and medical papers for a Worker's Compensation Case that would then involve the employer .. blah de blah. SM is saying that she has taken out all these unknowns and is happy with that.

I would suggest anyone that is smoking or taking weed that they get a prescription for it, for that reason (anxiety etc). I've never known a person that is high from weed, to be more or less of an *** than one whose had a drink or two. I don't see a problem there. They say that weed is a gateway drug, and so is a drink. One drink leads to 10 for any alcoholic. Smoking weed lead to hard drugs, to an addict. The point is it's not the weed or the one drink, it's the addiction that is the factor with weed or booze.

With drugs and alcohol comes a lot of unknowns. I'm glad that you're being this careful and thinking of the future years, But, I'd hate for you to lose out on a really great guy that chooses to smoke a joint, or ingest weed for the same effects, that get's creative for instance, rather rather than the guy who takes a drink and is the life of the party.  The thing is, that people that smoke a bit of weed, truly believe that it should be legalized so that people aren't able to label them for simply getting as "high" as one would if they had a drink. If you're not able to see this, and not able to support this, it might be better that he find someone that does. and you find someone who doesn't.

[calmshell]

Hi Londres, ty for your response I also feel it is a very weighted subject, and I do not feel good about it..what if the person does it now, say, pot, but says they would quit if you were with them, in the future? I guess I just question when people say  pot is not a 'hard' drug, or addicting..and I think I would wonder when/if they were still using, or like you said getting high :( Ty again Londres, hope you have a great one.

[Londres70]

If they are using drugs now that would be a NO go with me regardless if I LOVED their company.  That's crossing a boundary IMO.

Do you REALLY know the REAL person you are dealing with if he/she is always or often high on drugs?  

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Someone who uses drugs presently would be a deal breaker for me.  I'm not into pot smoking and would not be interested in a partner that was.  That's just me though.  Everyone has to set their own boundary. But, I really don't want drugs in my life.  

If they used in the past and had outgrown it (lots of people did things in their youth when in college but didn't continue once they were official 'independent adults') then it wouldn't bother me.  If they were a recovering addict and had given it up, I'd be very careful. That is a red flag.  I'd be absolutely thrilled they had stopped (love that and cheer everyone on) but know that it is a day to day battle to stay sober when that is the case.  The risk of their relapsing is real and it would just make things more complicated.  I'd not see that as ideal.

And yes.  I broke it off with a long term boyfriend that I found out was using.  I'm dead serious that I do not want a life with someone that uses drugs----  I can't relate to them and therefore, it was absolutely best for me to end things.  I'm married now to someone that has no interest in drugs similar to myself.  We have kids and live the kind of life that I wanted.  I don't think that'd be the case if he were out back getting high before we were having company over for dinner (or whatever).  ya know?  

But again, that's what works for me.  Everyone is different.  I would NOT enter into a relationship with someone that has a drug habit of any sort though----  ever.  Anything beyond recreational once in a while usage is just setting yourself up for many problems.  good luck