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cheap men
i was just wondering... how does one deal with a bf/husband thats very cheap?
me n my bf r movin in together officially as of next month (even tho ive been livin at his place for the last 3-4 months). but now im giving up my own apt.
anyways, the "cheap" topic keeps coming up with us. if he buys me a pack of cigs he wants 5$ back. today he said that 8$ from mcdonalds.. is too expensive!!! i mean cummon!! 8$!!
he makes triple what i do.
i never ask for anythin, he never bought me anything (i got a card for my birthday). but im very independent, and just tell myself - i dont need his money, i have my own.
is this fixable? how can i get pass this? any advice?
thanx to all =)
me n my bf r movin in together officially as of next month (even tho ive been livin at his place for the last 3-4 months). but now im giving up my own apt.
anyways, the "cheap" topic keeps coming up with us. if he buys me a pack of cigs he wants 5$ back. today he said that 8$ from mcdonalds.. is too expensive!!! i mean cummon!! 8$!!
he makes triple what i do.
i never ask for anythin, he never bought me anything (i got a card for my birthday). but im very independent, and just tell myself - i dont need his money, i have my own.
is this fixable? how can i get pass this? any advice?
thanx to all =)
instead of not talking and just crying to myself alone...see i just started to ignore my "bf' because he upset me so much..he is so tight...i drive all that way 80 miles each way and he cannot even allow me to use tp when i haver a heavy period and am sick. and he does not like me to use a lot of water, drink a lot of water, and he does not buy milk....
i have paid the entire grocery bill too. i really have. but i had to stop because i have fulltime school at the university and work fulltime too..he has a ba and masters degree and earns a lot. all my money goes on school, i was so broke at paying for school and car repairs that got into the thousands that during these last two months i have had the two tacos for $.99 from Jack in the Box for lunch each day. and that is gross after awhile and i did not complain to anyone....
i tried so hard with this boyfriend i would pay for coffee, dessert, food, groceries, disposable camara on our trip, etc. and i did not have the money at all...in fact i have used pay dad advances a lot, a real lot to act like i am normal and have basic things. it is so upsetting for me...
i have paid the entire grocery bill too. i really have. but i had to stop because i have fulltime school at the university and work fulltime too..he has a ba and masters degree and earns a lot. all my money goes on school, i was so broke at paying for school and car repairs that got into the thousands that during these last two months i have had the two tacos for $.99 from Jack in the Box for lunch each day. and that is gross after awhile and i did not complain to anyone....
i tried so hard with this boyfriend i would pay for coffee, dessert, food, groceries, disposable camara on our trip, etc. and i did not have the money at all...in fact i have used pay dad advances a lot, a real lot to act like i am normal and have basic things. it is so upsetting for me...
yeah, the guy i was dating bought himself a $300 picture for his office for work. but he will not buy milk, or does not like me to use a lot of his thin, cheap toilet paper he buys.....he did not even want me to go on birth control pills, because he said it would cost me....wow he better not ever ever have children
i cried hard the last time i saw him. we drove an hour to a mall to find gloves for him, he picked a pair out, found a better pair, exchanged the first ones, etc..all the while did not ask me if i was hungry or thirsty....this was the weekend before christmas too...
we had no lunch and i drove back home 80 miles away in the rain close to dinner time...that is about the 4th time i put up with him and that behavior. i cried so hard. he was so cheap.....everything was for himself. those gloves were $30, he bought a gps thing for his car that was $700 but could not ask if i was hungry or thirsty...
on our very first date he complained how much dating web sties cost to join and how he had to remodel his home...i should have left then....
i cried hard the last time i saw him. we drove an hour to a mall to find gloves for him, he picked a pair out, found a better pair, exchanged the first ones, etc..all the while did not ask me if i was hungry or thirsty....this was the weekend before christmas too...
we had no lunch and i drove back home 80 miles away in the rain close to dinner time...that is about the 4th time i put up with him and that behavior. i cried so hard. he was so cheap.....everything was for himself. those gloves were $30, he bought a gps thing for his car that was $700 but could not ask if i was hungry or thirsty...
on our very first date he complained how much dating web sties cost to join and how he had to remodel his home...i should have left then....
he made a comment the last time i was over at his house which is 80 miles away. i always drive there every weekend to see him and spend time. he gave me one new toilet paper roll when i ran out last sat night. i told him i needed a new roll in the bathroom....okay the following morning he noticed that i needed another roll.he said "didn't i give you a new roll last night?"
these were the very thin, cheapest rolls too, i told him i had my period very heavy and was sick....i told him oh i need to bring my own toilet paper. he just laughed..
this is the same man who skips meals, eats in the am and will not have anything until 6 or 7 pm when i'm there....most of the time he does not even offer me water.
he even asked how many cups of coffee i was making in the am when i saw me pour a lot of his bottled water in the coffee pot
he does not buy milk either
i am very disappointed at how i learned he was after dating him since oct of this year
these were the very thin, cheapest rolls too, i told him i had my period very heavy and was sick....i told him oh i need to bring my own toilet paper. he just laughed..
this is the same man who skips meals, eats in the am and will not have anything until 6 or 7 pm when i'm there....most of the time he does not even offer me water.
he even asked how many cups of coffee i was making in the am when i saw me pour a lot of his bottled water in the coffee pot
he does not buy milk either
i am very disappointed at how i learned he was after dating him since oct of this year
i've been dating a man that gives very little. i don't complain because he is supporting and living with two grown daughters that don't work. recently, i had to have surgery. he insisted that he would take care of the surgery (he is a doctor and was going to trade with another doc).
i apprehensively had the surgery and then rec'd the bill last week.
he takes me to the movies on most weekend and i buy popcorn. i buy groceries when i can't afford them to cook for him. we have been dating for 4 years and on my last birthday he went skiing and didn't want to come back for my day. finally he arrived with a gift from an office supply
store that was about 85.00. whenever i need anything or am in a jam he
tells me to call my ex. oh, and this last year i found out he cheated on me with a woman who is 59 years old. (just used her for sex) . i am
completely to blame for having him in my life. the medical bill situation
has finally woken me up. and i have to ask myself "how did i get to this
place" . also,, he never has ever told me he loves me. he is empty in emotion and empty at promises, gift and extremely cheap. i think this all ties in together. so how stupid am I ???
i apprehensively had the surgery and then rec'd the bill last week.
he takes me to the movies on most weekend and i buy popcorn. i buy groceries when i can't afford them to cook for him. we have been dating for 4 years and on my last birthday he went skiing and didn't want to come back for my day. finally he arrived with a gift from an office supply
store that was about 85.00. whenever i need anything or am in a jam he
tells me to call my ex. oh, and this last year i found out he cheated on me with a woman who is 59 years old. (just used her for sex) . i am
completely to blame for having him in my life. the medical bill situation
has finally woken me up. and i have to ask myself "how did i get to this
place" . also,, he never has ever told me he loves me. he is empty in emotion and empty at promises, gift and extremely cheap. i think this all ties in together. so how stupid am I ???
Do you think you can take it (money) with you? C'mon, life is so short. Be kind to your girlfriends and/or wives. Saving for a rainy day is great. Being a jerk about McDonald's is ridiculous. If you're sleeping with your girlfriend/wives, they should ALWAYS receive a present of no less than $100.00 on Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's day and any other special occasion. Cheap men suck! They are no more than selfish mean little boys deep inside who don't deserve a girlfriend/wife.
Why don't you sit down and TALK about what is appropriate to spend on each other? Don't wait for the situation to come up, and then get angry about it. I agree with Trialanderror - some people learn to save, especially if they haven't always made great money. That's a GREAT asset to find in a person. $5 on cigarettes here and $8 on fast food there does add up quickly, whether you're making great money or not. Unless you're reciprocating by buying him a meal here and there to make up for the times he pays for you, it's really not a fair deal for him.
Try talking to your boyfriend about gifts. Set a spending limit (e.g. $50.00). That way it's clear what your expectations are, and if he's too cheap to negotiate that, then I think you've got a real problem. He may feel uncomfortable with the idea of him having to foot the bill each time you feel like having fast food and other stuff.
The fact that your boyfriend makes triple of what you make doesn't entitle you to his earnings. You're not married, or planning on marriage yet, so why would he suddenly open his bank account to you? How would you feel if the situation were reversed? If I were you, I would talk to him ASAP about who's going to pay how much of which bills before you move in together. If you're expecting him to pay for all of them, you might have a rough start to living together.
Try talking to your boyfriend about gifts. Set a spending limit (e.g. $50.00). That way it's clear what your expectations are, and if he's too cheap to negotiate that, then I think you've got a real problem. He may feel uncomfortable with the idea of him having to foot the bill each time you feel like having fast food and other stuff.
The fact that your boyfriend makes triple of what you make doesn't entitle you to his earnings. You're not married, or planning on marriage yet, so why would he suddenly open his bank account to you? How would you feel if the situation were reversed? If I were you, I would talk to him ASAP about who's going to pay how much of which bills before you move in together. If you're expecting him to pay for all of them, you might have a rough start to living together.
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