Aa
confused??/
Ive been with my boyfriend for 7 yrs now, we have been engaged for 3 years, he has never spoke a bout setting a date for a wedding so i thought id mention it in january gone (2011), his reply was we got pay the car and washer off so april i promise we'll talk about it when we had money to save, but he didnt so ive mentioned it again and he still says weve got no money but we have, ive said if u dont want to marry just be honest cuz i cant stand being lied to but he said i do want get married just nothing will change if we do and in five yrs we'll end up getting divorced, i have no given up with him completely after last night he turned round and said to me "you want to get married and sit on ur f*****g arse all day.
he thinks sorry is good enough after but sorry doesnt mean **** to me.
he thinks sorry is good enough after but sorry doesnt mean **** to me.
hi, his mum now has finally reaslised its him that is wrong n i am not, she calls him a waste of space but still treats him as she has in the past in other words if he says jump she says how high.
I used to like sleeping in the spare bed as he wouldnt put our eldest son of three yrs in his own bed he keptsaying hes ok leave him in here, i was heavily pregnant with 2nd child and one night i decided to go in the other bed and my boyf followed me in there n started accusing me of meeting someone else and not loving him no more hes very insecure, the point im trying get across to him is its ok for him to go in another bed but not me, ive thrown that at him loads.
things have changed a lot like he helps more with kids and if i need him do anything he'll do it, i have thrown him out for 2 night n he slept his parents house things have changed since then i would say but if he still sleeps in another bed when our youngest is out of our bed then it will be over with as he has no excuse.
I used to like sleeping in the spare bed as he wouldnt put our eldest son of three yrs in his own bed he keptsaying hes ok leave him in here, i was heavily pregnant with 2nd child and one night i decided to go in the other bed and my boyf followed me in there n started accusing me of meeting someone else and not loving him no more hes very insecure, the point im trying get across to him is its ok for him to go in another bed but not me, ive thrown that at him loads.
things have changed a lot like he helps more with kids and if i need him do anything he'll do it, i have thrown him out for 2 night n he slept his parents house things have changed since then i would say but if he still sleeps in another bed when our youngest is out of our bed then it will be over with as he has no excuse.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Ugh. I know it is hard. You have two kids together. His mom saying what she did and acting the way she did is really telling. Even SHE thinks he's not doing right by you and the kids.
The back and forth is difficult. He's disrespectful and then here in a post just earlier today (or last night, not sure of our time difference)--- you said he was being loving and helpful. That back and forth is one of the reasons why you've probably stuck it out for so long.
In all honesty, do you feel he is now trying to be a proper partner to you?
The back and forth is difficult. He's disrespectful and then here in a post just earlier today (or last night, not sure of our time difference)--- you said he was being loving and helpful. That back and forth is one of the reasons why you've probably stuck it out for so long.
In all honesty, do you feel he is now trying to be a proper partner to you?
That's what I thought; he's the arse.
Don't walk but run from this relationship. Have family and friends help you if you can.
Please don't stay in this.
Don't walk but run from this relationship. Have family and friends help you if you can.
Please don't stay in this.
That comment abt why did the doctors save u is horrible, u were suffering for both ur baby. Does he love the babies?No one deserves what ur going thru no one and never once think you have to endure it. You deserve him to treat you better, try couples therapy or something, you are being abused and traumatized. If this continues i worry for the children growing up in such a negative environment. Its not just abt the wedding my love. Its much more than the wedding,coz he might marry you but his attitude and loyality might still stay the same.
Gd luck
Gd luck
thanks for replying to me.
he can come out with awful things such as when i had my second child 22 months ago i very nearly died, well it was the most terrifying experience so i will never have more children, anyway i was making me beds up fresh n baby was bout 1 month old i got sick of me partners mum coming round everyday so i said "leave it come another day tell her karl" he pulled his face and turned round to me and said "why did them doctors save you"? he laughed n thought it was funny i still hold a grudge bad about that one,
Ihate the way he treats me too, he has to sleep in another bed as he puts off buying lil one a proper bed for him still and he 22 month old now n sleeps in my bed, i put him in my bed as i had no energy to get in n out of bed after being so poorly after having him.
His mum slags him off all the time n is a pain in the *** tbh, i would rather have no mother in law as i think she is a trouble maker in our relationship, what sick **** says to me i shouldve died???
i have grown very distant from him now after saying nasty things n he says he says things when hes mad, when i tried to talk about marriage it looked as if he was ignoring me and when i said r u listening he replied "shut up ur doing my f*****g head in now!!".
he can come out with awful things such as when i had my second child 22 months ago i very nearly died, well it was the most terrifying experience so i will never have more children, anyway i was making me beds up fresh n baby was bout 1 month old i got sick of me partners mum coming round everyday so i said "leave it come another day tell her karl" he pulled his face and turned round to me and said "why did them doctors save you"? he laughed n thought it was funny i still hold a grudge bad about that one,
Ihate the way he treats me too, he has to sleep in another bed as he puts off buying lil one a proper bed for him still and he 22 month old now n sleeps in my bed, i put him in my bed as i had no energy to get in n out of bed after being so poorly after having him.
His mum slags him off all the time n is a pain in the *** tbh, i would rather have no mother in law as i think she is a trouble maker in our relationship, what sick **** says to me i shouldve died???
i have grown very distant from him now after saying nasty things n he says he says things when hes mad, when i tried to talk about marriage it looked as if he was ignoring me and when i said r u listening he replied "shut up ur doing my f*****g head in now!!".
Sounds like he wants a "live-in" and not a wife. Sorry to say that. Seven years? Forget it.
"Sit on your *&^%$#@ arse all day?" Well, he definitely doesn't believe in respecting you. What does that have anything to do with getting married?
First, I would not have any more children with this man. I don't know about talking with him; that sounds useless since he only gives you lame answers and excuses. Plus, the mother sounds not supportive of you, but only for her son. Some people's view of marriage is not a positive one, especially if they come from a family of divorce or tons of family issues.
If you don't mind all this bs, stay with him because I can tell you it will get worse, but I think you mind. If you want better, don't stay and move on. Doesn't sound like he is bettering your life in any manner. Get independent of him and move on.
"Sit on your *&^%$#@ arse all day?" Well, he definitely doesn't believe in respecting you. What does that have anything to do with getting married?
First, I would not have any more children with this man. I don't know about talking with him; that sounds useless since he only gives you lame answers and excuses. Plus, the mother sounds not supportive of you, but only for her son. Some people's view of marriage is not a positive one, especially if they come from a family of divorce or tons of family issues.
If you don't mind all this bs, stay with him because I can tell you it will get worse, but I think you mind. If you want better, don't stay and move on. Doesn't sound like he is bettering your life in any manner. Get independent of him and move on.
What confuses me is i told my mother in law me and karl were talking about marriage and she turned to me and said "if u had any sense you wouldnt get married and pulled her face" i was expecting a better reaction to be honest, I have spoken to my boyfriend about marriage and alls he says is we got no money as we to do things in the house, but what winds me up is he can spend money on an xbox and new trainers but can manage to say "i have no money", i don't talk no more about marriage to him tbh i don't care if we do get married as nothing will change but he says things when peed off that arent nice and it makes me feel un attatched to him, after he said that.
He also says the day is for me only so i pick where id get married and that but he also sees it as a waste of money and its just a name change and nothing will change as hell still be here if we marry or not,
i honestly think there is something else hes not telling me its like an instinct feeling and dont know what???
He has been very helpful lately and always loving and says he loves me, i am so confused as i have friends who say they have seen him out in the car going up these roads where he denies going and goes mad when i ask if its true, from day one my friends have **** stirred about me and him, am i best not listening to these people?
He also says the day is for me only so i pick where id get married and that but he also sees it as a waste of money and its just a name change and nothing will change as hell still be here if we marry or not,
i honestly think there is something else hes not telling me its like an instinct feeling and dont know what???
He has been very helpful lately and always loving and says he loves me, i am so confused as i have friends who say they have seen him out in the car going up these roads where he denies going and goes mad when i ask if its true, from day one my friends have **** stirred about me and him, am i best not listening to these people?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Yes, you 've had quite a troubled past with your boyfriend with good times and some rotten times. I'd MOSTLY be concerned with his statement that you'd be divorced in 5 years anyway. That is a telling statement that he doesn't see this relationship as stable or long term. Quite concerning. I'd talk to him about the relationship and how it can improve right now verses marriage. In the states, you'd be common law spouses in most places by now. YOu live as a married couple. Marriage is not a lot different than what you are doing now. So, I'd want to talk about how he feels about your union in general. good luck
I don't get this.
You live together. You have two babies and He says you need more money to get married?????
It is not going to cost any more money to do what You are doing now: living together and raising 2 babies. I question why he won't make that commitment to You but he'll make babies with You - making babies is the HUGEST commitment of all. I suspect when a man doesn't marry the woman he lives with and makes babies with, then it is probably a matter of control and THAT is a different problem You should probably consider.
You live together. You have two babies and He says you need more money to get married?????
It is not going to cost any more money to do what You are doing now: living together and raising 2 babies. I question why he won't make that commitment to You but he'll make babies with You - making babies is the HUGEST commitment of all. I suspect when a man doesn't marry the woman he lives with and makes babies with, then it is probably a matter of control and THAT is a different problem You should probably consider.
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