fear??? and ex???

[kelkel2020]

i was seeing this guy for over 2 years and he kept wanting to do anal or give him head or have sex all the time he knew about my past and what happened in my past was when i was 5 till i was 8 my dad would make me give him head and i still wake up to this day at night with the fear that its happening all over again and i tried to give my ex head but i started crying because when i went to look up at him i seen my dad and i cant do it and the anal thing from when i was 6-8 when my mom and dad was at work me and my brothers would have a babysitter and he would do anal with me when he would put us down for bed and i cant do that and i dont like sex because from 10 to 20 i had always been raped by more than one person. well back to the story but because i wouldnt give him head or do anal or have sex with him all the time he would get mad and upset so i ended it with him and no he wont leave me alone saying im the best he ever had and stuff like that but i left him because he would always bug me about doing those things and i cant. did i do the right thing by ending it with him??? and will i ever be able to enjoy sex or will i always have the fear that someone is going to rape me again?

[grannienannie]

well good for you...you did the right thing..if a man cant respect your decision..or what happen to you when you were younger..you dont need a man like that...he will never respect you..he will eventually throw it in your face..when you find the right guy he will love you and make you feel comfortable..he will do more for you than what he want you to do to him..that man doont love you he is looking to get his rocks off...you will find someone i did it took awhile but..my face dont go down there..now when I'm married thats a different story...dont do anything you dont feel comfortable with..forget him..and his penis..he is not your husband..good for you...you did the right thing...tell that stalker leave you be...!!!!! I'm proud of you..

[specialmom]

Well, it sounds like you've had a very painful and traumatic past.  Of course you are going to have a difficult time as an adult if you have never addressed your past.  You may have post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression, etc.  Many women that were abused as a child have a very difficult time with their future mate in this area.  Some do things like gain 50 pounds or more right after the wedding--------  to put a physical block between themselves and their mate.  And------ it is all subconsious.  Most would never do that intentionally and probably all want to have normal feelings about sex and enjoy that with their partner.  

So, my point is---------- you weren't ready to be in a relationship at this point.  I think you must find a way to do some counseling about this subject.  With that, things may get better.  Oh, and never do something you don't want to do.  Many women refuse to engage in some things altoghether and this is their right.  If anal is not apealing to you, then say no.  You don't have to do it just because they want to.  Part of sex is making your partner enjoy it and that goes both ways.  

So, I urge you to go to a good therapist and begin some difficult work.  I do wish you the best and am so sorry for any past hurts you have endured.  Peace.