I am 23 year old woman and the guy is 18 and still in highschool need advice

[Beautifulanonymousbeauty]

Hello, I am 23 just has a semester left in college. I recently just broke up with my boyfriend and I was exploring what else is out there and I caught the eye of an 18 year old whose in the 11th grade. So far he seems very mature, but we're at two different points in life. What should I do??

[Londres70]

Ditto SM.

All the best.

[specialmom]

Well, then I think you've come to your own conclusion.  I was at a different place than you when I was your age.  It's hard for me to relate to what you are talking about.  But that doesn't mean it isn't right for you.  good luck

[Beautifulanonymousbeauty]

Also my previous posts was about my ex I recently broke up with. I went back in checked

[Beautifulanonymousbeauty]

I have now concluded that I just want to have fun and live a little since I recently got out of a rerelationship. This is an excited experience and I am honestly in no way trying to take things further. I am not even considering sex...

[Chima7]

Just wanted to add that my first relationship with the 21 year old ended because he cheated on me. With a 16 year old!  And the second, I was 19 when we broke up and was still in college while he was already graduated and working full time and he got mad that I wasn't out of school yet. It became a huge problem.

So, what the ladies here are saying about you guys being at two different points in your lives is reality. And it comes up because of it being reality. I'm telling you this from experience.

[Londres70]

Past behaviors predict future behaviors............just saying.

[RockRose]

I think it's wrong to say "my other posts are irrelevant in this situation".  

This is how women continue to make bad choices - they don't see the patterns of bad decision making skills.  

Personally,  I don't know what a 23 year old college senior would see in a high school jr.  

[TTinKKerBBell]

Again, I differ with You

In fact, Your previous posts (of only one and two months ago) DO have relevance here as this is really about You.  It is not about an 18 year old high school BOY as much as it is about Your poor choices in boys/men.

I really think You need to take time to self reflect before You enter into another (probably) troublesome relationship

You did come here asking for thought? ideas? opinions?  It's pretty unanimous that most here think it's likely a mistake, but bottom line, You still get to decide what You are going to do with this

Regards,
Tink

[specialmom]

True. They just give a bit of background on things going on in your life and with guys.  It left me with the impression that things aren't going so great.  That isn't a rude comment but sometimes when someone is having that kind of time in their life, they will end up opening the door to someone they'd never really be with otherwise and then often regret it.  Don't want that to happen to you.

anyway, I guess it looks like most feel that you should pass on the high school guy.  I would say partly because of age but that is not the real reason.  It is indeed that you are at a totally different stage of life than him.  

good luck with whatever you do.  peace

[Beautifulanonymousbeauty]

My other posts are irrelevant to the s i situation

[specialmom]

I guess I just feel like in reading your other posts and this one that you are having some difficulties right now with guys.  Don't settle and go backwards.  That's my opinion.  

You did acknowledge that you are at two different points in life and asked what you should do.  This is my honest feedback.  I think a younger guy can really flatter us and be almost 'puppy like' but with the different points that you are at in life---  you finishing college and him in high school--  it would be hard to think of him as an equal.  

Anyway, choice is yours.  but don't ever settle.  good luck

[BluCrystal]

Fact remains that he is technically adult.  You can see him if you both wish it.  You are young enough to be able to help him finish HS and begin college himself, then just see - one thing at a time... young people can be very flighty, and he may not wish to keep a mature relationship, especially after he hits college and sees frat parties and pretty women everywhere.  Don't put all your eggs in his basket until well after college.

[specialmom]

I would be upset if my daughter in high school wanted to be with a guy that much older and I'd wonder why he'd want a high school kid over peers.  Why is an 18 year old a jr. In high school?  Was he held back?  I was 18 my freshman year in college.  Are you going through a hard time where you don't feel like you can be with someone your own age?  Are you feeling insecure?  It is a major step backwards for someone almost out if college- male or female to be with a jr. In high school. I would have been bored silly with a kid in high school at that point in my life. V

[Londres70]

Tink has offered very valuable, wise words and advice.

[Londres70]

Even if there wasn't an age difference you two are at different points in life and you just got out of a relationship.................TWO red flags.

[TTinKKerBBell]

Speaking for myself - No, I would not feel differently if the Girl was 18 and the Man was 23.  When an adult person wants a relationship with a teenager, I see it as a matter of wanting to "be in control" - be it the older Man or be it older Woman.

You say Your previous posts were different months with 2 different guys - February was ONLY 2 months ago, perhaps You need to give YourSelf more time to realize what is provoking You to make so many poor choices rather than to so quickly pursue ANOTHER poor choice.

You say "deep down" you feel like "it's a bad idea".  I agree with You - it's a "bad idea"

......just saying

[Londres70]

I personally would feel the same if it were the other way around.  

YOU asked what YOU should do and I gave my opinion.  I state SHOULD do not MUST do.  

As a mother I would be wondering what a 23 year old woman in college would want with my 18 year old son who was still in high school and visa versa.

If it isn't that big of a deal then why ask strangers what they think?  It's your life to do what you like.

[Beautifulanonymousbeauty]

Umm honestly it's just a 5 year difference. 18 and 23 is not really bad. I think most of you are freaking out because I am a woman. Now what if I was an 18 year old female wanting date a 23 year old man?? The comments would be totally different. Yes he's in highschool but still is of age.

[Londres70]

Hon, it doesn't matter how "deep" he is over you.  Being that he is a teen I really doubt this deepness will be lasting.

You know it's wrong and you are the older one in the situation, therefore, you should take control of the situation and end this.

Does his parents know about you?  Does your family know about him?

[Life360_Dave]

Also i was wondering why you picked your post name as you did?

[Life360_Dave]

Hi also, it just depends on his maturity and young adults these days do appear a bit more mature than days gone by. But remember at 18 hes just starting to sense his freedom and if you decide to get into a one on one relationship with him, one of you might get hurt if feeling dont grow at the same level.
Also being 18 and still in the 11th grade, he might have some extra issues with maturity.

[Beautifulanonymousbeauty]

Hey everyone I seen the posts and he's 18 years old not 17 nor 16. My previous post was different months with 2 different guys. I am feeling iffy about this. He asked me on a date and I'm going to try it out. Deep down I feel like it's a bad idea but I don't know how to tell him that as he's already so deep over me

[TTinKKerBBell]

P.S.

I read Your other posts.  Are You already being sexual with this "boy" or are You speaking of someone else in the last couple of months?  None of my business, but I do think it's relative to this discussion if it's the same person.

[TTinKKerBBell]

Totally agree with SpecialMom and Londres70.
I also agree with Chima7 in Her 2nd paragraph comments.

You even sum it up well YourSelf when You said "We're at two different points in  life"

He's a teenager - You haven't been a teenager for 4 years.  At Your age and His as well, 4 years is BIG.  Give Him a chance to "catch up" to where You are.  When He's Your age, You will be almost 30.  This is a big difference.  Perhaps when Both are in Their 30's, 40's, 4 years doesn't make for much difference but Your age and His is too great.