need help

[scared0018]

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 7 months. He's usually very sweet, though lately has seemed to change. Last week I was very upset when my grandpa was hospitalized for liver cancer. I had a doctors appointment for myself on last Thursday that didn't really go well and afterwards went to his apartment to spend time with him. We made dinner and afterward started to make out. One thing led to another and we had sex. He used a condom and it was fine. Though after laying together for a while, we started to go for round two. When I asked where he had the condoms, he said he put them back. He asked if he could try going without one. I said no, it was too risky, especially since I was in the middle of my cycle, so I figured I'd be ovulating soon. He kept pushing me and I gave in. He didn't come inside of me, but I'm still freaking out right now that I can be pregnant. I feel like I should've been stronger and kept saying no, but just wasn't having a good day and let him go without it. I am so angry at myself for letting this happen. I'm 18 and don't want a baby yet. He said if I get pregnant, we'll be fine, he'll get his own apartment(he lives with roommates now) and get more hours at work. Though I'm just so angry at him for pressuring me that I don't really want to see him right now. Maybe I'm over reacting, I don't know. I'm just so upset. I feel like I need some other people's perspective. Am I stupid for being so angry at him?  

[scared0018]

so I was calculating when I would potentially ovulate this month, and found out it would probably be the day after I had sex! It definitely doesn't help calm my nervousness about all of this. I have no idea how I would break that kind of news(of being pregnant) to my parents. I'm really hoping that since my periods aren't always regular that I might get lucky and dodge this bullet, so to speak. I think my chances of pregnancy are probably high. Do you think I'm screwed/am going to be pregnant?!

[scared0018]

thanks. I thought about that later on. I was just so angry and upset that it happened, I wasn't thinking straight. There's just been too much going on in my life. It definitely won't happen again, and he knows that. He said he won't ever push me and said he was sorry for being so selfish. Now we just have to wait and see if I'm pregnant...

[teddybears4ever2]

For future reference if you are concerned that you might be pregnant the first thing you should have done is go down to the drug store and get a morning after pill.  Don't let anyone push you around either.  You should always stand your ground.  

[scared0018]

thank you both. I've calmed myself down a bit since this morning. I was just fuming over it earlier. I should clear up that I meant that I was in the middle of my cycle, not on my period, so I think I would be ovulating now or very soon. Which was why I've been freaking out so much. He finally apologized for pressuring me and said it won't happen again, and I really hope he sticks with his word. He loves kids and takes care of his niece and nephew a lot, so I think he'd be a great dad, but I want that to be for later. I'm in school and want to finish it, without looking after a child. He's a great boyfriend, other than with this part. I just wish I can skip ahead about 2 weeks to see if I get my period or not. I'm so worried about being pregnant. My parents would be extremely upset, as well as myself.

[imanaddict]

First, I don't think it's possible to get pregnant while on your cycle. I could be wrong though, but I'm pretty positive that it's not til a little while afterwards that you ovulate and are able to get pregnant. Second, girl I'd be pissed off too! Like mami said, he probably doesn't think it bothers you since you gave in, but let him know that that will NOT happen again. If he wants to have sex, he better have his stash of condoms handy...PERIOD!  I am glad, however, that he said what he said about if you do wind up pregnant. That was a mature response from him! Besides this incident, he sounds like he has potential! =)

[mami1323]

Well he probably doesn't know there was an issue with it.  He probably feels since you gave into it, that you were fine with it.  Tell him you felt pressured and that you know he wasn't doing it with mal intent, it still made you uncomfortable.  I don't think he was trying to be a jerk about it, I think he really wanted just to have unprotected sex and that's all he could think of.  But yes, calm down first and then confront him with it when you aren't so angry.  Hopefully he will respect your wishes in the future and this won't happen again.  If it does, then perhaps it's time to re-evaluate this relationship.  Maybe he isn't the type of guy you would want to be with.

[scared0018]

thanks. I'm just so angry at him and myself. I haven't really talked to him much since. He apologized for not acting like he cared when I told him I was freaking out about possibly being pregnant, but he never apologized for pressuring me into the situation. He works around 30 hours a week, so I haven't really been able to see him. He wants to go out tomorrow, but I need to calm myself down first.

[mami1323]

No you're not being stupid for having those types of feelings.  He pressured you into doing something you didn't want to do.  I would be just as angry.  I would suggest speaking with him calmly about it.  Tell him you are very disappointed in yourself for allowing him to do what he did.  You are young and not ready for a baby and although he may seem like he is, it takes two people to make such an important life changing decision like that.  Tell him that in the future you would prefer to continue to use condoms and that if you don't have one, that you would rather not have sex.  I would also suggest perhaps finding another method of birth control just in case.  Condoms aren't 100% effective.