Help Getting Over Former...

[ed581]

Hello,

Previously I was in a very happy relationship for about 8 months, but we had to cut it off when we moved to colleges a few thousand miles apart, and now, I can't stop thinking about her.  It's been nearly two months now, and it's to the point where it is a serious impedance to me getting schoolwork/activities done.  Do you guys have any general tips on how to move on??  Just so you know, the school I'm at is almost exclusively guys, so just getting back in the dating scene isn't the most practical option...

[sweetpea03]

If you are purposefully trying to "not to forget her", then of course she will be in your thoughts. You need to let that thought go and just focus on other things. You aren't just going to forget someone who was part of your life, but if you have this thought that you don't want to forget her, then you are hindering yourself in trying to move forward. Nothing any of us say will help you get there, if you won't get over the feeling of not wanting to forget her.

[ed581]

You both had good suggestions about surrounding myself in work, but they are things I have already tried.  I am actively a member in a school group, and when combining that with curricular work, I have a roughly infinite amount of work that I could be doing, and am doing most of the time.  I wouldn't have came to the forum if she didn't keep recurring in my thoughts even while doing these things.  

When I spend all of my time working, my train of thought often veers from the subject at hand, simply because I don't have the mental stamina to just keep thinking about something non-stop for long periods of time, and then she comes to mind.  Or when I'm with friends, something will remind me of the times when I was with her.  

The most difficult part of all is that I don't want to 'forget' about her, or just move on like nothing happened.  The time we had was some of the best in my life.  I know I won't stop missing her, I just want to know how I can stop myself from letting her from dominate my thoughts, even when I need other things to take precedent.  

I feel like I'm asking to turn tin into gold, but I need to find out something...

[brice1967]

I suggest you completely immerse yourself into your studies.  At this point, your schooling takes precedent.  As sweetpea mentioned, join clubs or something else to fill your idle time.

And what is wrong with taking a bit of time off from relationships?  School is where its at man... maybe if joining clubs is out, find a part time job or donate some of your time to a worthy cause.... Habitat for Humanity, the library, etc.

[sweetpea03]

How do you move on? you keep yourself busy. You join clubs on campus, join a sports teams, hang out with friends, focus on school, and/or so on. If you notice yourself thinking about her, then change your thought process to something else and focus on that. I wouldn't suggest jumping into another relationship if you don't feel ready, especially if you aren't over your ex. Take time to be single and find out exactly what you want in a gf, so when you do begin to date again later on, you can be with someone who is a great match for you.