how do you after a break up?

[ashley911]

How do manage a break up after 3yrs
And how do u deal with all the memories? And
All the other stuff?

[ashley911]

Thank so much everybody...its why I love this site

[gemmaj3]

I broke up with someone when I was 19 and we had been together almost 5 years from when I was 14! Part of me regrets it cos I did miss out on alot with friends etc but I also believe that relationship made me the person I am today. It wasn't the best relationship towards the end, in fact I was kind of relieved when it was over but you still get upset and cry and go through things in your head over and over again trying to make sense of things, whether you wanted the break up or not. I had an engagement ring from him which when we first broke up, my mum held onto it for me for a while - maybe she thought we might have got back together but I know she did it mostly to stop me looking at it etc. After time I actually forgot about it and it was only when someone mentioned it about a year later I remembered lol! I took it a jewellers and they offered me almost £100 for it......so I went shopping with the money!

All I can say is, things will seem really grim and miserable right now and one minute you'll feel okay and the next you may wana cry.....do what you want to do at the time and deal with it how you want to and not how people around you might expect you to. I think once you go off to school and meet new people you will see your life in a completely different way. Chin up, you won't feel low forever and just think in a way that relationship played a part in the person you are today :-)

[ashley911]

Thanks so should I sell it after a few months?

[jrobertson20]

Get rid of it.  Whether you ask him if he wants it back or just even give it to your mom for now and then have her get rid of it after awhile.  I am sure at school you will meet a ton of new people and start YOUR life.  School will really help keep your mind off of everything.  Good luck and have a blast.  Enjoy your college years!!!!!!!!!

[ashley911]

Thanks guys yesterday I went bingo I had fun
And I feel like getting a fish but I really can't do
Any thing with a fish, I really want a cat but
I'm going away to school in a few months n it be up
To my mom..anyway any ideas of what to do with the promise ring
He gave me?

[jrobertson20]

It's hard and you have to give yourself some time to be sad and cry.  You just need to take it day by day.  I know the pain of heartbreak is pretty bad and you would do anything to make it go away right away but the reality is that you have to go day by day.  If you are having a very hard time with it you may just want to seek counseling to help you through this rough patch in your life.  Once the initial shock and sadness wear off you need to take a look at yourself and tell yourself you deserve better.  Start doing things for you and do something that makes you feel good like getting your hair done or shopping or whatever it may be.  Eventually the memories will become distant and you will make new and better ones.  If you have things from the relationship get rid of them.  Don't keep them in a box in your closet because then they will always be there.  You need to rid yourself of the relationship to move on.  Just keep your head up and tell yourself you are so worth better. I am so sorry you have to go through all this.  I hope you take care of yourself.

[specialmom]

Well Ashley, three years is a really long time.  It is a loss like any loss in that you must mourn it.  Even bad relationships are a loss when we loved that person.  So being sad and melancholy is perfectly normal and you must give yourself time to grieve the loss of a person you loved.  I'd do some extra special things for yourself, indulge yourself a little.  You are nursing a broken heart.  Do you have any confidantes that will listen when you want to talk?  It is helpful to just have someone to cry with.  I'll be honest . . . I've been face down in the carpet crying before myself over a break up.  They hurt.  So understand that these emotions will be there for a while.

Distracting yourself is really helpful.  Start doing things you really like to do.  Watch old movies and read people magazine if that is what floats your boat.  I think exercise is really great as it releases the brain's natural "happy pill" and helps us feel stronger.  So add in some physical activity.  Consider getting a pet.  Just keep yourself busy.

A journal is helpful.  Write the feelings down there.  But always remember that this is but a moment in time.  You will move past this and be happy again.  You have to hang onto hope and faith.  Good luck