my dad is sneaking before my moms back with someone else. Do i tell my mom?

[mandeex3]

my parents were never happy together since i was born ( only reason they got married was because of me) They never fight so there not horrible together there just not happy. They never kiss, say love you, miss you or anything affection at all. about 6 months ago he met someone but the problem is shes in florida ( were in new york) so theres distance. My dad took me out to dinner and told me hes not happy and did meet someone. Hes been going to florida every 3 weeks for the weeked to spend time with her. My mom thinks hes in florida visiting his sister which he is but he just didn't mention the new girl. Last month my dad told my mom he wants a seperation my dad told my mom that hes not happy and does like someone else. My mom was actually ok with it.  My dad told my mom he will split everyhting 50/50 he even offered to help her with an apt, they still go out to dinner and talk so there not fighting its going good. My mom is upset i see her at night crying which i know is understandable but shes being very strong about it she even told me he wants to see him happy because she knows they never been happy together.

Now heres the problem my dad told my mom hes going to New Jersey for the weekend for work. Which he has done in the past many times for work but my dad told me the truth which is his girlfriend from florida is coming up to new york to see him for the weekend. There getting a hotel toghter for the weekend. My dad told my mom hes going to jersey because he doesn't want to hurt her anymore than he has already. They are "separated" but he does still live home so i don't know if thats really separted they just don't sleep in the same room anymore.

This is so stress ful for me I'm 20 and the only child. None of my friends would really understand most of them are immature and have no advice to give except a few and those i did talk to about it have no idea what i should do. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it im going through it alone. My dad tells me everyhting and i can't tell my mom but i really want to. I know if i was in this situation my mom is going through i would want to know the truth but im afraid my mom will get mad one day and explode and tell my dad she knows he was really with his girlfriend then my dad will get mad at me for telling my mom. What do i do? Any advice would be very helpful and appericated. Thank you

[RockRose]

I agree with everyone else that your dad is really stepping WAY out of bounds telling you about his sex life - that's really really unfair to you.  

On the other hand,  your mother knows about this.  It's not a secret to her.  He's just decided to act like it's some big secret - but she knows and is dealing with it however she is.

[specialmom]

I agree that it is unfair for your dad to put you in this position.  Do not get involved, however, with your parent's marriage.  He's leaving her most likely.  What you can do?  Tell your dad that he tells her the truth or you'll make sure she accidentally finds out.  (as chesh chesh said).  

Try to stay neutral.  But who am I kidding.  My parents divorced and I sided with my mother.  She was in the right.  She deserved my support.  I still maintained a relationship with my dad but my mother had my heart.  I gave her first pick of holiday time (where I spent it), did not cozy up with my dad's new "chickie", and did not participate in any drama that ensued from the divorce. I wasn't rude to anyone but had my priorities in line for where my attention went.  

So, stay neutral but be there for your mom is what I am saying. Sorry this is happening to your family

[cheshchesh819]

I dont think your father should be putting you in this awful situation,this is his marriage and his problem,if your parents are seperating then there is going to be alot of hurt that comes with it,but to tell you things and then your not aloud to tell your mother is going to make things ten times worse,your mother will think you are taking sides and that you are lying for your father,this is not a position that your father should be putting you in,tell your dad to man up be honest because you are not going to keep his secrets from your mother any more.

[mandamoo32]

I understand you are an adult and such but why is your dad sharing all of the details of this with you? Does he not give a sh!t that she is your mom whom he made a vow ( regaurdless of the reason) to honor her as his wife.... And you as his daughter dont need to know how and when he is going to be breaking said vow.... I dont know but firstly i wouldnt want to know if my dad were hookin up with someone else before the divorce were final. Tell your dad to stop because he is putting you in a horrible spot. IMO