on long distant relationship

[willy225]

I am currently dating a wonderful girl who is just as madly in love with me as i am with her.  our situation is very complicated and I will try and explain my situation as best i can. she is 18 and i am 22.  She attend school over 200 miles away.  she is in a sorority, a freshman ambassador, in her first semester of school, and of course has classes she attends. i on the other hand am almost done with school and don't really have a busy schedule by any means.  she makes it home about every other weekend and I usually get to spend half of the time she is home with her. on saturday we usually either tailgate and attend the football game at my college or do something a little more personal with our night like dinner and a movie or just spending time with the two of us just catching up and remembering why we love each other so so much. on sunday we attend church(just the two of us).  my issue is that although i understand she has many other obligation i feel like i am put on the back burner in her life and not appreciated.  some days we text alot and i feel important and other days we don't talk all that much or at all but i see her tweeting or facebooking with others.  we have been dating for over a year and at first she was never this busy and i was given alot of attention but she has gained a much much larger workload.  this is the start of a relationship i hope to be very promising and has the potential because we both want it. i just want some help in pin pointing things i can work on in regards to how i react to her busy schedule and what i can do to try and regain that attention. She hasn't changed the way she feels for me she has just changed the way she shows it because she is constantly busy and when she finally has time she either is so stressed out that all i can really tell her is to get some rest and try and forget about her day. she does tell me she loves me and how much she miises me and looks forward to seeing me.  i just struggle because i dont know how to handle the lack of communication.
i am looking forward to yals feedback thank you!        

[willy225]

she said that she wants to try and make it work and that she will try and be better at giving me more attention.

she also said that she is busy all week and can't really give me attention and even her friends attnetion at that.  so when the weekend come she wants to hang out with her new friends.

I'm stuck.  i love her and want to take her back, but i think that it will only drag out.  im scared more than anything of loosing her.  but where im stuck at is that we are in a long distance relationship so should i expect for her to want to spend time with both me and her friends and that maybe by being upset with her when she gets the free time to chose them over me is wrong because i have to share her?

i know i said i broke it off, but my heart is telling me to take her back.  

what do i do

[willy225]

thank you.  and i agree completely about the timing.  im just not one to hurt people and or loose people that im close to.  i have very deep friendships and i love working on them and making them better and i viewed her as my best friend for the past year and a half and it's just hard for me to stop protecting my friend/the person i love.  im just scared for the two of us because idk how i will hold up and idk if my actions will not let me be able to open my heart back up.  although i know we are both young and may think it is love but im sure i was in love i never doubted that feeling and i know i still am in love thats why i hurt. with time i know i will get better but im just honestly not ready to leave a relationship like this. in our relationship we fell back on each other when we where down and i dont want to loose it. nor do i feel like anyone else can truly replace that roll in my life

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Coming in on the tail end of this and see that my peeps have been very helpful.  This is a special time in her life.  She's just starting something that will help set up the direction of her life.  She is a go getter and embracing her college experience.  

I'm sure it hurts.  Part of what happened with the two of you is timing.  If you'd met 6 years of more from now, things may have been different.

And I think sometimes if we had a great thing going with someone, they let us sort out our life on our own---  we come to the realization that we gave up something pretty awesome.  She may realize that at some point. Give her space and live your own life in the mean time.  

good luck and peace

[willy225]

thank you.  im still not ok with my decision, but i do hope when she grows older maybe there will still be something there.  and that we have built a foundation for us and our future. hopefully a future together  

[Londres70]

Agree with RR.

So sorry.  

[RockRose]

willy,  you are a wise,  wise man for your years.  Not many young men have the stones to leave while they're in love -

You did the right thing.  And who knows - maybe after some amount of time you both may decide to get back together - but there's nothing attractive about a lover who is clinging when the relationship is waning.

You're smart,  and brave,  and spared yourself worse agony.   We all know how painful this is -

Best wishes.