on long distant relationship

[willy225]

I am currently dating a wonderful girl who is just as madly in love with me as i am with her.  our situation is very complicated and I will try and explain my situation as best i can. she is 18 and i am 22.  She attend school over 200 miles away.  she is in a sorority, a freshman ambassador, in her first semester of school, and of course has classes she attends. i on the other hand am almost done with school and don't really have a busy schedule by any means.  she makes it home about every other weekend and I usually get to spend half of the time she is home with her. on saturday we usually either tailgate and attend the football game at my college or do something a little more personal with our night like dinner and a movie or just spending time with the two of us just catching up and remembering why we love each other so so much. on sunday we attend church(just the two of us).  my issue is that although i understand she has many other obligation i feel like i am put on the back burner in her life and not appreciated.  some days we text alot and i feel important and other days we don't talk all that much or at all but i see her tweeting or facebooking with others.  we have been dating for over a year and at first she was never this busy and i was given alot of attention but she has gained a much much larger workload.  this is the start of a relationship i hope to be very promising and has the potential because we both want it. i just want some help in pin pointing things i can work on in regards to how i react to her busy schedule and what i can do to try and regain that attention. She hasn't changed the way she feels for me she has just changed the way she shows it because she is constantly busy and when she finally has time she either is so stressed out that all i can really tell her is to get some rest and try and forget about her day. she does tell me she loves me and how much she miises me and looks forward to seeing me.  i just struggle because i dont know how to handle the lack of communication.
i am looking forward to yals feedback thank you!        

[Londres70]

Are you in school at this time?  Do you have other friends or activities?  

BTW:  Constant attention should NEVER be expected in a relationship regardless of whether it's long distance or not as that is not healthy.  

Secondly, a lack of communication in a relationship should make you concerned but not "mad or upset."  I wouldn't recommend anyone getting mad or upset but to work on the communication issues by just opening up and talking to the person you are having the issues with.  It doesn't have to be some scripted chat, but it shouldn't be any anger-fueled nastiness being vented at someone.  

[willy225]

if the lack of constant attention is expected in a LDR how do i know when to get mad or upset with the lack of communication

[Londres70]

Well....just talk to her and set up specific times and days that are good to chat that you both can work with.  

Can't you drive to see her?  It is quite a distance though.  Perhaps on the weekends she isn't home you can drive to see her.  I am just throwing ideas out....not sure if they are doable though.  

[willy225]

well unfortunately i have either set my self up for heartbreak since we have been together for over a year or i have set myself for a tough relationship atleast a tough relationship for right now.  which it is very tough right now and i'm trying to figure out how to make it much easier on myself

[Londres70]

I don't think some of the comments were meant to be negative or mean to you in any sense as most of us are much older than you and we have seen and know trends to certain situations, not to say yours will not work out as I can't predict the future to the exact.  

Plus, I was in this situation years ago myself and I surely don't want to see you setting yourself up for heartbreak and hurt and I have a son who has gone through the same situation you are in too.    

[willy225]

thank you!