on long distant relationship

[willy225]

I am currently dating a wonderful girl who is just as madly in love with me as i am with her.  our situation is very complicated and I will try and explain my situation as best i can. she is 18 and i am 22.  She attend school over 200 miles away.  she is in a sorority, a freshman ambassador, in her first semester of school, and of course has classes she attends. i on the other hand am almost done with school and don't really have a busy schedule by any means.  she makes it home about every other weekend and I usually get to spend half of the time she is home with her. on saturday we usually either tailgate and attend the football game at my college or do something a little more personal with our night like dinner and a movie or just spending time with the two of us just catching up and remembering why we love each other so so much. on sunday we attend church(just the two of us).  my issue is that although i understand she has many other obligation i feel like i am put on the back burner in her life and not appreciated.  some days we text alot and i feel important and other days we don't talk all that much or at all but i see her tweeting or facebooking with others.  we have been dating for over a year and at first she was never this busy and i was given alot of attention but she has gained a much much larger workload.  this is the start of a relationship i hope to be very promising and has the potential because we both want it. i just want some help in pin pointing things i can work on in regards to how i react to her busy schedule and what i can do to try and regain that attention. She hasn't changed the way she feels for me she has just changed the way she shows it because she is constantly busy and when she finally has time she either is so stressed out that all i can really tell her is to get some rest and try and forget about her day. she does tell me she loves me and how much she miises me and looks forward to seeing me.  i just struggle because i dont know how to handle the lack of communication.
i am looking forward to yals feedback thank you!        

[willy225]

she text and calls as much as she can.  thats what im trying to figure out.  obviously im being hard headed in some aspects of my relationship but it could be possible that she is just that busy.  she does take time out of her day to call me and skype me.  she does do cute things for me and she does still love me.  my question was not how will my relationship turn out.  my question was how to i deal with her busy scheldule and how do i still find time to develop our relationship as she is building her own with herself?

[Londres70]

Well.....does she know how you feel at all?  

[willy225]

well if i wanted to try and make it work.  what should i do

[Londres70]

"I am currently dating a wonderful girl who is just as madly in love with me as i am with her.".........Well, I don't know about you, but if someone is "madly" in love with me he isn't going to put me on the "back burner."  

Given her age and your age+distance+freshman in college+ "she makes it home about every other weekend and I usually get to spend half of the time she is home with her" = this relationship probably isn't going to last.  This is not unusual for this age group and is pretty much the norm.  

Wish I had a more optimistic opinion for you, but I have been there and done that.  

[RockRose]

willy,  she HAS changed the way she feels about you and that's why she's changed the way she's showing it.  When one member of a couple goes off to freshman year out of town for college,  the relationship usually doesn't last past that first semester.  

This is painful,  but this is life.  She hasn't been forced into this new workload and priorities - she's willingly accepted it.  The classes she has to take - all the other stuff - the sorority,  and her time consuming position in the sorority - is all her choice of how she wants to spend her time and energy.

I wish you the best - but this is probably not going to last.  She's just very barely begun a 4 year adventure that she's embracing with full force,  and you're 200 miles away.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi and welcome. You start by saying there is a lot of love between you both and then you say she is putting you on the back burner. I don know if all people are like me, but when i love a person, my knees were weak with thoughts of her. She is very young and needs friends and a social life as she is still developing her place in society. They say a persons brain is not fully developed till around 24 so she has some growing to do. I personally think your doing all you can to get her to love you as stronly as you love her, and if you push her it might make her drift further away from you. Usually 18 year olds have more in common other with 18 year olds. For some reason it is like that at this age. I had the same experience at your age and it did not end up well for me with her but looking back, she really was not the one for me anyway.