partner of HIV

[sweetme1967]

My husband of 25 yrs contracted HIV 7 yrs ago. Needless to say our sexual relations have cooled down some.
Before this we had a one sided relationship in the frequency and (ladies back me up here) the desire to have sex.
We both had our own side... his need (frequency) and my insistence that he be pleasant and respectful (flowers got him a BJ) the day he feels the "need". After he "got sick" i felt that now i had the power of "when". That didn't last long... He said something like. Well now you're not being fair!!! You know i can't go and have sex with anyone else cause i'm sick.. you should give me as much as i want!! I asked him "So the chance of getting me "sick " is ok but not some other?" HE SAID YES.... yup yes he said yes.. SOOOOOOOOO i shoulda names this... can you tell the cops i was with you when he gets a knife in between the eyes???????? I just joined this forum and haven't read any of the members posts.. So if this is the wrong place to look for sister friends with man baggage let me know k?? ;-P

[penswriter]

I didn't even realize that. lol. It was at the top of forum.

[Vance2335]

This was from Sept of 09.

[penswriter]

First off, why are you still even having sex with him???? I know there's tons of protection but he has a non-curable, deadly STD! That he got AFTER you were married! So not only did he cheat but he also doesn't care about giving you a death sentence.
Divorce.
I'm not one to just say get a divorce but in this case...I honestly don't think any amount of counseling can fix this problem.

Second off, demanding things from him (i.e. flowers) in exchange for sex...that's just wrong. It's supposed to be something you WANT to do. (Not that I'd touch him with a 10 foot pole right now...in fact I'd avoid the cheating/junkie like the d@mn plague.)

[Judy246]

I have to agree with imanaddict (as I usually do :), you have been married 8 yrs and he contracted HIV? How, from needle or unprotected sex with someone who had the virus?

This "I had the power of when" type of attitude is spiteful and .only adding more problems and the audacity of this man, who came home infected and dares tell you, "you know I can't have sex with anyone else because I'm sick", so he want to have sex with you, because it's ok?  What the hell is that?

What are you doing with this man? Why did you not leave him on the spot? He has been unfaithful and would have continued if not for contracting HIV...who knows where he got it from and expect for you to just accept what he has done, contracted and put out also. File for a divorce, he is discusting and not worthy of your love.

[imanaddict]

there is also an HIV forum as well if you would like to go read their experiences.

As far as your relationship goes, I can totally understand why you are keeping your distance. He's got some nerve bringing home a disease such as that and then trying to guilt you into having sex with him! You have every right to feel/act the way you have. That would so totally be grounds for immediate divorce if it were me. I applaud your courage for coming forth and asking for advice. I wish I had more for you but honestly I just don't know how to respond to something like this.

I sincerely wish you all the best!