Well said Lonelymom, I couldn't agree more.
I am in your husbands situation. My husband has turned me down so many times until it has crushed my self-esteem and made me depressed as well. Having kids does put a strain on the marriage but it shouldn't stop you from finding ways to be together. If you don't put each other first you will end up apart.
Start making the advances towards him. Show him you do want him and find him attractive and pleasing. Make time for him.
Also he is not obessed with sex just because he wants it. He has a normal outlook on sex.
Children are wonderful, but having a child is very stressful on a marriage. That, combined with your pregnancy issues and your rejections of your husbands advances, has created a problem that is often very difficult to resolve. As mentioned above, if the love is still there, a solution can be found, but often to a man, sex is the proof of love. I am greatly bothered by your phrase concerning your husband and his "sex obsession", as I see your husband as very normal and not obsessed. Your husband had to go to a doctor and get diagnosed to get a prescription for his anti-depressant meds. It is not something that has come upon him overnight, and is deeper than what you can see on the surface. I feel his depression is due to lack of love (sex) and seeing his marriage go down hill. At this point, possibly the only thing keeping him there is the child. You say " . . . i've tried to make myself available . . . ", but that is not working. Your husband has lost hope, he's on meds, and your " . . . relationship has become mostly platonic". Professional counseling might be advised or at least heart-to-heart talking with your husband, but for me, all the talk in the world cannot substitute for good behavior replacing bad behavior.
You say that it's a "sexless marriage" but, is it a loveless marriage? If the Love is still there, try to find a way to re-establish the bond and connection that you both had... reach out to him; embrace him; spend quiet time together... the sex will follow.
don't blame yourself for his depression...there can be a million contributors to depression and while lack of sex, or infrequency thereof, could be a contributor, depression meds can also be a contributor. My wife and I haven't had sex in at least a year between her depression (brought on by a botched breast reconstruction surgery and resulting pain and other chronic pain) and my own depression brought on by who knows what..perhaps my former addiction to pain meds and the recent loss of my of
youngest son (26)
Work schedules and all of these things can contribute..is he seeing a counselor...see if he'll let you come along...or sit don and talk to him in a neutral place..restaurant, coffee shop, etc and see if you can discuss it..these things can take some work, but they can be resolved.
Good luck
Jim