still not letting go

[she90]

i was on here a few weeks ago about trying to let go of my first love, and still it hasnt happened
He began being civilised again, we began to be like mates and evrything was good last week. Then I had a gut feeling that he was now seeing my friend as i have seen what they are like around each other, but maybe its only what i observe, but yeah, im easily jealous and this hurts heaps. So I read into something on the weekend and asked, which then made me feel like a complete idiot as i read into the situation wrong. And then tonight i needed a ride home from work and asked him.Even whilst i was texting him i knew it was a bad idea but it didnt stop me.
It feels like I dont have any control over the situation and its been 12 months. With it being first love any everything i knew it would take a while, but now im realising how im becoming the crazy ex which I never ever wanted to become, as i see his family often as they are family friends. I feel like I have absolutly no dignity left with him, and it doesnt stop me from keeping making stupid mistakes. even he mentioned i dont think before i speak, but i still can't seem to stop.
Anyways,sorry about all the rambling.I dont know what to do, I am thinking of seeing a councelor if this doesnt get better.

[sweetpea03]

Well most of what I'd say has already been mentioned above, but I really think you should delete his phone number. Get rid of that and all other temptations that allow you to talk with him, like social networking sites. It's better to not talk to him at ALL for a while. Going out with groups is fun and can take your mind off of it. You can also get involved in a sport you like or a club at school. All ways to keep yourself busy and help yourself move on! :)

[imanaddict]

In order to get over him it is imperative that you cut off ALL contact with him, his family, friends, etc. It doesn't necessarily have to be forever, but until you are 100% over him. You are a beautiful girl and I doubt you have a hard time finding other love interests, so explore your options! Go have fun and soon enough all this will be behind you. If you wallow in your misery, it's going to take a lot longer so don't delay the inevitable any more and try your best to move forward. It WILL happen if you let it!

I wish you all the best!

[mami1323]

There isn't anything I can say that specialmom hasn't already eloquently said. You are the only one who can decide what your self worth is. When I broke up with my first love I knew that him and I couldn't be friends or even speak because it would hurt me if he didn't respond the way I wanted him to it would hurt me. I learned that very early on to cut off all ties with him. I'm not a masichist. Its impossible to be friends with an ex if the feelings are still there. I know you feed off of the little contact you do have with him and hope that you and him will get back together but you are just holding yourself back from healing. Again this is all in your power and control, its about will power. Good luck.

[specialmom]

This is up to you.  Everything and I mean that is in  your control.  Are you a woman of character or not?  Are you strong or weak?  Can you follow through on what is right or not?  Can you do what is in your best interest or not?  If you can't--------  you've given yourself away.  Go to a counselor to strengthen yourself so that YOU have control over you.

Work on those other things that will make you happy in life.  Job, friends, etc.  First loves are fine and dandy but the man I'm with is my greatest love of all.  So don't get hung up on it being your first love.  When you get to be my age, that will seem irrelavent.  Good luck and I  know you are stronger than this!