understanding death

[elecounselor60]

how do I initiate a conversation with someone who has recently lost his wife about what triggers his depression?

[Judy246]

Good advice and losing a loved one is a life chaning experience and at the right time, he will move on with his life, but his wife was part of his life and history and will always be fondly remembered thoughout his life span.  Judy

[gagootza]

he need to remember  her for all the good things she stood for and that she is still with him in spirit.she's in good hands and don't have to suffer anymore.he will be with her again when the time comes and never forget her and to keep moving forward with his life.everything happens for a purpose and theres always good that comes out of what we call bad.in time he will realize that.good luck and he has my deepest sympathy...pete

[Judy246]

I'm living it right now and to be honest, I am aware of 5 to 7 steps or stages of the grief process, but they don't matter, because you survive one day at a time ....baby steps, and not time frame, since everyone heals at their own pace. It's been 2 years for me and I do feel better, but I am not yet completely healed...it takes a long time.  I recommend that you search on the website "Stages of grief process" for some answers, there are many opinion on the stages, but the reality is it takes a long time.

[jo929]

when you lose a loved one you have 3 steps to go through and you have to do it yourself just let him know that you are there for him when he is ready to talk otherwise do not push accepting the death takes a long time,   luck  jo

[Judy246]

By simply being a good friend, a good listener and be supportive. Reassure him that if he want to simply talk, that you are there for him. Also, be ready for him to show emotions, because as soon as anyone approaches me about my mother or the many losses I experienced, I get teary eyed and that natural from someone who has experienced the loss of a loved one.

By just letting him know that you are there and understand what he is going through, he will open up to you and don't be afraid to ask question. That way you will know what he is feeling and he will also get to know you better. It's a great way of bonding.

[teko]

Depression results because of the extreme loss someone feels and is absolutely normal process of grieving. Google the steps of grieving and allow the person you are trying to help lead the way. This is a process that cannot be interrupted and it has to play out. If depression levels are dangerous to the point of loss of health, persuade them to go to a doc for medication to balance them out a little. Other than that, just be there.

[iam1butterfly]

Start with ordinary dialogue.
Ask him how he's doing and how he's feeling.
Let him know that you're his friend and that you care about him.
When he's ready to "go deeper" and talk about his wife, married life, family,
depression, grief, etc. he'll "open up."