I'm 32 weeks and my fiance cheated

[quinniemouse]

I found out September 1st that he was cheating on me the woman that he was talking to told me everything she showed me all the messages that he had sent her and all the messages that she had sent him the only reason why she had pursued the conversation with him was to show me what was really going on. the first time he messaged her he told her that he felt like she was trying to set him up and get him caught up and she told him that if she really wanted to tell me that she would have already done that.she's a message to my gun and then he took the bait

[turkey_club_0214]

Vance, people are here to share opinions. Don't take it personal ;)

[Vance2335]

That statement you made is false and an insult to may people who make mistakes.

[turkey_club_0214]

I never said it was easy girl! It's hard as hell. U have all these things going through ur head and I get it. Just stay calm and now that ur with ur mom don't speak to him at all, ur going to want to but dont. Distract yourself with somenthing. Give you self some time time to think and heal. The best decision will come .... with time. Good luck!

[quinniemouse]

It's so much easier said than done. I've been the same exact way you think with one a cheater always a cheater and just leave but now that I'm in that position I don't know what to do.

[turkey_club_0214]

I've always said "once a cheater always a cheater". I don't understand why some women believe that they have to forgive and stay with the guy because of the kids, because he will change blabla a kid does not fix a relationship and NO they don't change. You should be glad u found out before u were married to that guy and even if u were I would leave him. I'm married and I would do it no problem. I wouldn't go through all that shhit and dragging my kids into this. It's not like ur going to forgive him and forget what happened right? And if u forgive, u will always have on the back of ur head if he would do it again, checking his phone and not trusting him at all. It's not healthy for you especially the kids. Dump him! Cry and move on!
Sorry I'm harsh but I've seen this many times with people that are close to me.

[quinniemouse]

The problem is now my mom is moving and into a much smaller apartment and told me I wouldn't be able to stay there with my daughter and my unborn baby it would just be too much which I totally understand. I feel so trapped and stuck. I love him to death but I just don't feel like anything is right like some days I can totally just put it to the side and have a good day but others I just wantt to punch his face in.

[Chima7]

It's good you're staying at your mom's, you should continue to do that until you make a decision. I'm thinking that being around him while he acts like nothing is wrong is going to make it a lot harder for you to figure out where to go from here. You can tell him that you need time to clear your head and that's why you'll be staying with mom until you decide what to do. And if he complains about it or something you can tell him that it's 100% his fault that you're feeling like this so he can shut up and deal with it. And while you're at it, tell him he shoulda thought about the consequences before doing something so utterly stupid. You should also ask him, what exactly did he think was going to happen when you found out? Did he think you were just going to sit there and not care? Because if that's what he thought then he is an even bigger idiot for thinking that. Stand up for yourself here. I know you're really upset but channel that anger and tell him off for being such a pig. Tell him that he's the one who ruined everything and this is all his fault. Cause it is!

[quinniemouse]

I have no idea what I'm going to do and I don't want to make any decisions until I'm emotionally stable and it's going to be a while I've been staying at my mom's house a couple nights a week just to get away when ever I get really emotional. He's just acting as if everything is totally fine and as if he did nothing wrong. I don't know what to do or say...

[Chima7]

Well, it's possible she could be telling the truth about that. Good that you found out, either way. So what's your plan now that you know? What are you going to do?

[quinniemouse]

She told me that she wanted me to know because her boyfriend did the same to her and she had just had a baby 5 months ago. I wasn't upset with her or anything but it's not like we're bff's now or anything but I also tried to tell her to try and pursue him again and say that she told me because she was mad that he was only talking to her for sex. He didn't respond to her until I left the house but she sent me screen shots of the entire conversation and he was going for it.

[Chima7]

See, that's weird to me. If she doesn't know you, why would she tell you about it? The reason why I'm suspicious, call me jaded, but what if she did it to try to break you guys up so she could have him to herself? I've seen it happen before so I'm suspicious. I feel like she has alterior motives and not genuinely doing this to be helpful.

[quinniemouse]

I have posted the same story since I found out just going for some more input and advice.

[quinniemouse]

She's actually someone he has been with once before. They met 8 months before me and him even started seeing each other and they had sex once before me and him were together. He messaged her first and I asked him about her on Facebook before any of this happened and he said they were just friends from a while ago. We've been together for 2 years now and he just did this in the beginning of the month. I've never met her or seen her in my life just thru Facebook.

[Chima7]

Can you clarify who this girl is and why she would want to help you bust him? Because if she's just some random girl then why would she help you? Or is she someone you know? Can you explain this a little better cause I'm a little suspicious of her motives.

[KateFerrera]

Oh gosh baby girl I'm so sorry... Men are pigs! Ughhh! Why would he even think of doing that knowing you're pregnant with his child, your body is changing, you have to give birth and still be a loving fiancé at the same time?! Poor mama! I'm so so so sorry... If you need someone to talk to let me know, I've been cheated on before and gone through horrible BS like that... Us mommys need to stick together! ❤️

[vbaal]

Ive read your other posts kinda like this(if it was you sprry)

Anyway im really sorry and wish your the strength to get thru it

[siyahboo]

I'm happy to see sum girls have since and wouldnt acually mess with a guy knowing that he has a child on the way. Your really lucky because the girls where I'm from do not care and they will make friends with you just to be close to your man. I'm sorry this happened to you but please try not to stress to much Ik its hard not to but just breathe

[wife_and_mama2014]

Why on earth did she do that? That doesn't make any sense. She was talking to him to catch him and tell you...? Do you know this girl besides as his other woman? Like is she a friend?

[babyC_1]

Sorry your going through this. I know it's hard.

[babyC_1]

I'm going through something similar to yours. Me and my husband are having problems and he's been talking and seeing another girl. Told me he wasn't happy with me anymore and I'm 26 weeks pregnant with his.

[Ana_Chouza]

My boyfriend did the same thing to me and i found out the same way but i was about 8 weeks,, im so Sorry i know what you're going through,, just try to get your mind off it i know its hard but you will get through this

[miracle_mommy2014]

Gosh I'm so sorry. Some guys are just real messed up

[Crystal0093]

Honestly, I wouldn't stay with him. He's your fiancé .. So that show right there when he proposed to you he never really meant it cuz if you want to be married tht means you want to be with that person and ONLY that person.
   No woman should stay with a guy who cheats or plans on it. Just imagine, if this girl didn't tell you ... That only says one thing to me ... He will do it again he will just be more careful who he chooses to do it with..
I truly believe once a cheater, always one. That's awful. Leave him you deserve so so much more.

[quinniemouse]

He took the bait and the only thing that stopped him from going to see her was that he didn't want to drink and drive. She showed me everything and we even made plans to meet up and catch him with herbut I was away that weekend when all this happenedso the day that I came home I couldn't hold it in and I told him that I knew about everything. He didn't deny anything.I feel so emotionally unstable and I feel like I can't make a clear decision especially because of my hormones. I don't know what to do. I have a 3 year old she is not his. But I'm also 8 months pregnant with his child. He told the woman that he just found out that I was pregnant a month agowhen we actually know I was pregnant right away because we were trying to get pregnant we made the decision together.any advice?