need someone to talk to :,(

[kiccolini]

so tonight I let my bf drink and were drinking at his moms cause she's not here n it was a few friends n his brother n his gf n her friend. well long story short I got mad cause I felt like he was ignoring me n he was tryin to be all lovey dovey with me n I told him to leave me alone , I'm 37 weeks & very hormonal ..so then were goin to bed and he had to throw up n I helped him to the bathroom n stuff even tho I was mad and now I think the mean drunk came out and he starting sayin I messed up his life n he shouldn't of got a place with me and he wishes he just paid child support and he started sayin if I wana live there I need to get a job and pay rent( when I moved us in there with 800$) and everything he's saying to me is really hurtful and I'm crying really bad and he says I'm a cry baby n he's just bein so mean to me:,( idk what to do...I wana just take the house key and walk home but its so late n I'm scared to walk this late but then I wana let him no its not ok to treat me n say those things to me

[kiccolini]

Thanks ladies. My family is all in another state but everything is lookin a lot better. My moms coming here in less then two weeks to help me when the baby comes and his mom is giving us money for our rent(that was the main thing he was stressed out about) but he never drinks he just wanted to for the weekend so drinking isn't really a problem . But now that we got my mom n his mom helping us things are lookin better and we both just got an apartment together and both signed the lease so its a stuggle at first and also he said he wants to get married after the baby comes so we will see. But thank u ladies for ur support

[Nini2686]

I agree with everything Londres is saying. I have read your other posts and there are MANY red flags. I hope it doesnt get worse for you after the baby comes.

[Londres70]

To Add:  He shouldn't be drinking alcohol if he can't control what he says and does AFTER drinking it.  Hopefully, these episodes don't increase AFTER the baby is here.  

[Londres70]

Just proceed CAREFULLY in regards to this relationship with this guy.  He has already given you so many "red flags" and would recommend you NOT ignoring them or turning a "blind eye" to them.  

I would NEVER recommend a young woman be financially dependent on a man EVER especially not being married.  

By the way.....why don't you ask your own family for help?  I think you are too overly involved with him and his family and not your own.  

Like I stated in a previous post......KEEP in contact with your family because I really think you will be needing them in the end to help you with this.  

I am not sure exactly how all this will play out once the baby gets here, but I can tell you with you not working PLUS he has to have 2 JOBS to support you, himself and this baby.......this all could become HIGHLY explosive.  Just keep your family's number on speed dial because I DON'T get a "good feeling" about any of this.  

[kiccolini]

I'm not currently working cause I just moved here to be with him and I would love to work but yes,I'm due in 18 so I don't think I could work but I would like to after the babys a few months old ..he's tryin to look for a second job I think that's why he's so stressed out to

[specialmom]

Oh, no I looked and you are 37 weeks pregnant.  Well, you'll have the baby any time and starting a new job would be hard.  And maybe you are currently working anyway.  But down the road after baby, think about working to not be fully dependent on this guy.  good luck and peace

[specialmom]

Hi,  well, let me just say this.  With what he said, I'd not make yourself quite so financially vulnerable by depending on him.  You haven't had the baby yet, right?  Are you working??  I would definately work until you have the baby.  And then after the baby, I'd see what you can do part time or school you can get/participate in so that you have some financial means to add to the mix of things.  

Don't get me wrong---  I"m a stay at home mom.  BUT, I know I COULD get a job at any time should I need to and my husband is very supportive of my staying home.  If he weren't and we were fighting about money, I'd look for employment and be a working mommy.  

This is something to think about.  Couples should work as a team regarding finances---  whether one works or both and if it starts to feel like one resents carrying the other financially or begins to treat them like a roommate, that is a bad sign for the relationsihp.

I am glad he is sober.  He may not fully know he hurt you as badly as he did.  I'd speak to him maybe tomorrow about it.  peace and luck to you

[kiccolini]

He has been doin so much for me and when been gettin along great before he got drunk which he hardly does. & I came up with the $800 but he's gonna be paying rent..but he's been rally excited about the baby n takin care of me I guess ill give him the beneift of the doubt

[kiccolini]

thank you so much ladies for all your support..I wish I could hug each and everyone of you. it truly means a lot for everyone's advice..he sobered up n he did apologize but I still feel like he's ignoring me a little but will see how the rest of the day goes.

[specialmom]

Hm.  I see my comment got cut off for some reason??  Anyway, I agree to concentrate on baby.  Work on your support system outside of the boyfriend who sounds wishy washy on his desire to be a daddy and tied down.  

lots of luck to you.  I'm sorry you had to hear his comments as I'm sure that was beyond hurtful.  

[Londres70]

"so tonight I let my bf drink and were drinking at his moms cause she's not here n it was a few friends n his brother n his gf n her friend."  You let your boyfriend drink?  What's that all about?  Does he have some kind of issue with alcohol drinking in the first place?  I thought these people were devote Muslims?  Then, he is throwing up?  He obviously drank more than a couple of drinks.

Secondly, seems like your posts in regards to this bf, his family, the pregnancy and you have been nothing but negative in the sense the situation has been chaotic, dysfunctional and filled with drama.  Plus, you all haven't even added a baby into the mix yet.....but that's shortly to come.

I am not sure if he's quite ready to be a father.  Perhaps he may be different once the baby is here.  Sounds like he is having doubts about you and this child and the alcohol just brought all this to the forefront.  

Frankly, it sounds like he has been treating you bad all along and then he is nice/doable "here and there," but he is not consistent with his behavior in regards to you.  

Well, I would keep your bond with your family VERY tight.....you probably will need them in the end to help you out of this.  

You both need to have a SERIOUS talk about what you both expect and need in regards to this relationship.  I would also recommend you get more independent so that you aren't forced to stay in situations that just aren't healthy and ideal for you and your baby.  

I would be HIGHLY concerned for your baby and its environment because this doesn't sound like the environment a baby should be raised in.

[specialmom]

Oh sweetie,  I am so sorry.  When he is sober, does he act resentful about the pregnancy and being with you?  What really really worries me is that babies bring MORE stress onto a relationship.  

You are going to have to talk about this with him.  Tell him what he said, how he treated you, etc.

Alcohol is never an excuse even though some try to make it one.  what you say back if he just tries to pawn it off on that is that then he must stop all drinking.  Period.  It's a problem if alcohol causes you to change your behavior in such a radical way.  (and honestly, it IS).  

Stay on track and tackle this head on.  He may not be in for the long haul once he is sleep deprived because the baby had a bad night and kept you both up, or he has to pull his own weight and Help the baby (as ALL partners/parents should), or that he can't go out much at all anymore because  . .. well, you two have a baby to take care of.

Maybe this episode was a last hurah before the baby got there and your being mad about how drunk he got (which I don't blame you) but perhaps it hit a nerve with him.  He'll tell you that i

[glittergirl88]

Sounds like he's just being a stupid drunk. He probably doesn't mean what he said. Draw a moustache or a nice picture on his face while he's passed out. It might make you feel better. Then you can laugh your a$$ off in the morning when everyone sees. That's what he gets for being a jerk. Tell him in the morning that he was being a dickhead and that he will never do that again while he's with you or he will get the boot. Stand up for yourself, be a strong woman.  

[dessy417]

I'm really sorry he's such a jerk tonight. i wouldn't let him drink around you anymore. I'd tell him you are a mother and if he still wants to drink he needs to do it away from you, because stress is not good for you right now, honestly he shouldn't be drinking you can go into labor anytime and what's he gonna do while your baby is born if he's drunk? i let my boyfriend smoke weed but that's because it never hurt anyone i used to smoke before i got pregnant i almost aced algebra while still smoking but he's not allowed to do it in the house and if he does it at his friends with me there he has to be sober before we leave, i think that's fair and so does he. My uncle is a drunk and even stole a ambulance he's been in and out of jail sense he was 15 so for your sake i hope you will at least comprimise that if he drinks it needs to be away from home and you need to not go with him because stressing you out is bad for you and the baby and when the babies here it really should not be exposed to anything like that. trust me I'm gonna probably wanna spark up a joint after the babies here but the only way i will is when my mom baby sits and i won't ever be under the influence around it my boyfriends mom is a alcoholic and used to get very mean on whine and now he won't even touch a beer and hates anyone who's drinking around him it can effect your child even if their never abused they'll know being drunk isn't a good thing, i come from a long line of messed up ppl my parents used to do drugs and now i have anxiety they never hurt me in anyway and always took care of me but i worried about them and now all i do is worry about everything so this could effect your child if there exposed to it even in a non harmfull way so its best if he drinks he does it some where away from home.

[nunya_05]

definitely wait until he's sober and talk it over with him.

[dueoctober22]

Sounds like your bf becomes a bit on an idiot wen he's drunk hun,  I'd wait till he sobbers up and tell him straight that it's not acceptable to speak to you like that regardless of you being pregnant or not,  ask him how he actually feels so you know we're you stand and if he wants to be there for your little one,  or if he's not going to bother,  the most important thing here is that you and your baby,  and he needs to realise this.! hope you get it sorted hun x

[kiccolini]

@nunya id sleep somewere else but there's no were else that girl is on the couch and were in his moms room & his brothers are in there room :/ & I don't have anyone to pick me up..he's past out right now , he hasent drank in awhile and everything has been so great latley I'm just so hurt from everything that's comin out of his mouth. I'm due in 18 days and he obviously dosent understand how emotional I am n I'm just so upset now my stomach is hurting:(


@dessy its not to far but id be walking on the side of the road to get there I wish I had a ride then he could be locked out tomorrow. He's never been like this drunk so that's why I'm so upset , I actually slapped him earlier cause he was sitting n talkin to that girl n he kept tellin me he wasent doin anything n sayin how much he loves me n then an hour later tellin me all these hurtful things:,( & that's horrible what that guy did to ur brother id smack him! Ugh n thanks hun n before he pasted out he said take the key n walk home I don't care...like really I'm 9 months pregnant n he said he dosent care.

[dessy417]

Guys that hurt women and children get killed in prison its kinda a criminal unspoken rule, you'd obviously be showing, I'm 17 and just walked around the block at 2am. he's a ******* jerk and honestly I'd like to take a bat to him. if its not a far walk I'd walk home and leave him locked out. your right he needs to know its NOT okay to treat you like that. he really shouldn't be getting drunk if he's like that when he's drunk. a guy i dated once smacked my little brother because he was drunk and kept trying to go after another little boy and i had to keep tackling him down. When this baby comes he can't drink around the baby or he could end up yelling at your infant. i seriously wanna punch him in the nuts for you.

[nunya_05]

I'd sleep in a different room away from him and talk about it with him when he's sober.  Unless he is usually like this?  which is never a good thing.  it's not your fault you are emotional right now.  Doing something about it while he's drunk may just lead to more drama.  Is there anyone that could come pick you up possibly?