Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Should I disclose to new partner?

I had my last relationship late 2018. I got tested 3 months after last encounter and came back negative for HSV 1/2, HIV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia and Syphilis.

In mid-2020, I had an encounter with an old friend in my car, no oral sex was performed. I only received a handjob which she constantly licked her fingers to simulate my penis head. I never had contact with her vagina or vagina fluids, only with her breasts. We did kissed.

I am now in a relationship and I am sure the STD/I question is soon to come up, should I retest or disclose about the encounter I had in 2020? Is it possible to have contracted Gonorrhea, Chlamydia or Syphilis from the handjob due to her saliva?
1 Responses
207091 tn?1337709493
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, there are two different questions here, really.

If it was only a handjob, that's no risk for anything, so there isn't need to test. There isn't any reason to disclose anything about STDs from this.

If you are talking about past sexual experiences or relationships, then you might want to talk about it, but you aren't under any obligation to do so. This can be a strange conversation to have. I usually try to skip it. :)
10 Comments
Yea, it was really just a handjob but her constantly use of saliva on it really made me think about it. I've seen contradicted information online about saliva being consider as "body fluid". That was my main concern even this was almost a year ago.
No, STDs reside in the throat, and in order for them to get into your urethra, you'd need to receive oral sex.

Body fluids, in regards to STDs, are vaginal secretions, semen and blood.
I should clarify that that answer is in regards to saliva only.

Obviously, you can get STDs from oral sex, and vaginal and anal sex, as well. In case it isn't clear, I don't mean to say that oral sex is the only way to get an STD.
Thank you for clarifying that! This does put my mind at ease again. I really appreciate it!
Hey, I am now full aware that the risk is really almost non-existent, but for the peace of mind (and anxiety), would taking a online-test like from LetGetChecked . com would be enough? Considering the exposure was almost a year old?
Please understand that there is no risk here. It's non-existent, not almost. For peace of mind, sure, test if you need to. I haven't personally used LetsGetChecked or STDCheck - another similar company, but those would be sufficient. Keep in mind that both companies offer 10 panel options that offer tests that are not needed.

The LetsGetChecked is a lot more expensive, but it at least offers mycoplasma, which is something actually sexually transmitted (not by a handjob). The STDCheck includes 3 Hepatitis tests, which are usually unnecessary, because they aren't sexually transmitted or most have been vaccinated for the one that is.

The 10 panel on STDCheck doesn't include HIV unless you choose it, which raises the price $120. The LetsGetChecked doesn't include herpes testing, which is also fine (though ridiculous for the price). There are a lot of false positives on the hsv2 test, and that can take weeks and hundreds of dollars to unravel.

https://www.stdcheck.com/std-test-panel.php

https://www.letsgetchecked.com/us/en/complete-std-test/

Overall, I think the LetsGetChecked is better, though the prices are high.
It is 100% for the peace of mind.

I was more looking at the Standard 5 that LetsGetChecked offers, which is for Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, HIV, Syphilis, and Trichomoniasis. I do not have insurance so I am going to end up paying out of pocked anywhere I go anyways.

https://www.letsgetchecked.com/us/en/standard-std-test/
I think that's fine. You can rest assured that it will be negative. None of those are known for high false positive or negative rates, either.
Quick update, got my kit and sent the urine and blood vials Monday. Just got my results back today, everything came back negative as we expected.

Thank you for your time AuntieJessi!
Glad to hear it, and thank you for the update - we get very few of those. :)

Take care, and you're welcome!
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the STDs / STIs Community

Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.