Aa
Anxious
Hey guys,
I am recently single after being in a long term relationship. I am a bit of a worrier by nature and I have been consumed with fear and paranoia about having sex(even w a condom ,oral def out of the question) with anyone new after my last boyfriend for fear of STDS. My doctor has made me extremely paranoid about stds, which is only magnified by my anxiety issues. I am worried mostly about herpes because it is something my doctor brought up to me recently, and honestly, something I'd never given much thought to before. I am scared to have sex with anyone now, knowing that herpes can be spread through even protected sex. I was unsure if I had ever been tested for herpes and she said unless a sore comes up, theres no real reason to test because the tests can't show the location of the infection anyways. I am scared to have the test done anyways, although I have never had an outbreak or anything similar, because I would be so distraught if i did indeed have herpes. (either kind, im sure...) I have had less than 15 partners in my lifetime (I'm still under 30) but I am still freaked out!!!! So, what should I do? Am i being smart or too overcautious? I stay awake at night thinking about how I can never be close with someone again, because I am just so scared to contract something. I can't keep feeling like this, but I also feel like my fears are kind of justified because of how rampant stds seem to be these days.
It's just frustrating and causing me severe depression. Any advice would help.
I am recently single after being in a long term relationship. I am a bit of a worrier by nature and I have been consumed with fear and paranoia about having sex(even w a condom ,oral def out of the question) with anyone new after my last boyfriend for fear of STDS. My doctor has made me extremely paranoid about stds, which is only magnified by my anxiety issues. I am worried mostly about herpes because it is something my doctor brought up to me recently, and honestly, something I'd never given much thought to before. I am scared to have sex with anyone now, knowing that herpes can be spread through even protected sex. I was unsure if I had ever been tested for herpes and she said unless a sore comes up, theres no real reason to test because the tests can't show the location of the infection anyways. I am scared to have the test done anyways, although I have never had an outbreak or anything similar, because I would be so distraught if i did indeed have herpes. (either kind, im sure...) I have had less than 15 partners in my lifetime (I'm still under 30) but I am still freaked out!!!! So, what should I do? Am i being smart or too overcautious? I stay awake at night thinking about how I can never be close with someone again, because I am just so scared to contract something. I can't keep feeling like this, but I also feel like my fears are kind of justified because of how rampant stds seem to be these days.
It's just frustrating and causing me severe depression. Any advice would help.
just checking your status periodically is always a good idea in general. no way to predict your odds of being +. don't be overly surprised if you have hsv1 since most adults do contract that at some point in their lives.
* I should also clarify that the relationship I mention was monogamous on both ends, and he has never had symptoms of an outbreak either.
That does help, thanks. I have decided not to have sex with anyone else unless they are going to be my new boyfriend and we both get full screenings- I can't keep living with this anxiety, and casual sex REALLY isn't worth it for me.
I guess what I am wondering is how worried should I be about a possible positive result?
All of my partners, with the exception of the last two, happened either when I was in high school or a freshman in college (I'm only 22), and there are 13 total.
My last relationship started my freshman year of college and ended in Feb. of this year and I have only had sex once since then, unprotected (terrible decision, which led us to stop) and only for a few minutes. I really have no reason to suspect that I have herpes except for that I suffer from anxiety and obsessive thoughts and this has got me really bent out of shape. I have never suffered an outbreak or anything like that, and this whole situation has got me wondering that if I did have it, wouldn't I be getting an outbreak from all this stress?
Thanks again, and sorry if any of this is redundant.
I guess what I am wondering is how worried should I be about a possible positive result?
All of my partners, with the exception of the last two, happened either when I was in high school or a freshman in college (I'm only 22), and there are 13 total.
My last relationship started my freshman year of college and ended in Feb. of this year and I have only had sex once since then, unprotected (terrible decision, which led us to stop) and only for a few minutes. I really have no reason to suspect that I have herpes except for that I suffer from anxiety and obsessive thoughts and this has got me really bent out of shape. I have never suffered an outbreak or anything like that, and this whole situation has got me wondering that if I did have it, wouldn't I be getting an outbreak from all this stress?
Thanks again, and sorry if any of this is redundant.
type specific herpes igg blood testing is helpful for determining your herpes status. odds are if you test + for hsv2 on it, your hsv2 is genital. statistically 7-8 of your partners have had hsv1 and odds are that 3-4 of your partners have had hsv2 so it is well worth seeking out type specific herpes igg blood testing to see what your status is.
so what do you do to protect yourself? Well before you are intimate with a new partner, suggest you both go for full std testing to see who has what. If you both test negative on all std's , you aren't likely to contract a std. we unfortunately don't have hpv tests but it narrows down the risk of a std considerably. if it's more of a random 1 night stand sort of thing, make sure the condom goes on when the clothing goes off, not just wait until actual penetration to put it on. just proper condom use alone greatly reduces your risk of a std. also if you are this anxiety ridden about std's, you should only be giving and receiving protected oral sex too if you aren't aware of a partners std status.
hope that helps!
grace
so what do you do to protect yourself? Well before you are intimate with a new partner, suggest you both go for full std testing to see who has what. If you both test negative on all std's , you aren't likely to contract a std. we unfortunately don't have hpv tests but it narrows down the risk of a std considerably. if it's more of a random 1 night stand sort of thing, make sure the condom goes on when the clothing goes off, not just wait until actual penetration to put it on. just proper condom use alone greatly reduces your risk of a std. also if you are this anxiety ridden about std's, you should only be giving and receiving protected oral sex too if you aren't aware of a partners std status.
hope that helps!
grace
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
