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Avatar universal

Did we really have gonorrhea?

Okay, so my wife and I have been together since June 2005, so that makes it over 7 and a half years. My wife was a virgin when we met and is one of those really innocent cutesy girls, so I know she would never cheat on me. I love her with all my heart and I would never cheat on her or even think about it. I was not a virgin when her and I met, it's something I regret, but I know since we met neither her nor I have had any other sexual partners, we are very loyal and happy together and she is newly pregnant.

We have been going to this clinic, and although they are nice, they seem to be lacking in knowledge, my wife had to search on the internet everything about what to eat and things to do and not to do during her pregnancy since the nurses and more so, the doctor told her nothing other than congratulations, and I hate to be mean, these people are lovely and I really feel like it is a friendly environment and they try to help us out the best they can, I'm just upset with the newest event.

So this morning I got called around 11:50 am or so and was told that there is something wrong with my wifes pap smear, they had her take one 9 days ago and would not give me any details despite being her husband and rather than having my wife talk to them on the phone, they just told us to come in at 2:30 for an appointment, of course from 11:50 - 2:50 my heart was pounding in fear, I had no idea what was going on, they never told us anything, I'm thinking my wife has cervical cancer or HPV and this is about to get ugly, I'm sad, scared, stressed, worried, and there is nothing I can do but wait.

We go in and finally one nurse says that my wife tested positive for gonorrhea, honestly, I was relieved and happy that it was that and not HPV or cancer, I knew gonorrhea was curable and that in most cases there is discharge from the penis ( which I never had in my entire life I might add ) I asked the nurse, don't most males get discharge? and she said not necessary. I have not been with any other woman other than my wife since 2005, at the time I was just more relieved to hear about my wife's safety and not thinking clearly, possibly asking for another test or just going to a new clinic altogether since this one obviously is a bit off.

So, we decided to both get shots in the hip, and take those pills that make you really sick, I'm still feeling a bit nausea's, but my real question here is this, I know she'd never cheat on me, I would never cheat on her, we've been together since 2005, so is it really possible for gonorrhea to "lay dormant" in my body from 2005 until 2013? I have had maybe 3 cases in the last 2 years where it burned to pee, and maybe 3 cases where I had mild discomfort in my penis since 2010, I never had any discharge. My wife has discharge on occasion but no other symptoms, is this really possible that I could have had it for 8 years without any real symptoms or anything? this is ridiculous, and I am starting to regret not thinking clearly, in the end I'm not too upset, my wife doesn't have cancer and I am happy, but I just want to know why they didn't request a second test or even once question that maybe it isn't possible that this could lay dormant for almost 8 years in my body, I asked the lady and she shrugged it off and said yeah, that is possible that you haven't had any symptoms in 8 years.. from what I read online I doubt it, but I'd like to get some more opinions, thanks.
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Avatar universal
I know it's been a couple of months since you posted but I wanted to see if anything else came out of this?

Everything that happened to you happened to my husband and I last year. He found out that he had it first though and then I was treated. I was a virgin when we met more than 6 years ago, have never been with anyone else and he, like you, had been with others before but I have never had a reason to believe that he would cheat. And he was as absolutely devastated as I was. I still don't understand how it was possible and neither does he. We had a really tough time getting through it and I still think of it now and then but things are otherwise great.
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101028 tn?1419603004
same answer as I already said.
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Avatar universal
This is the first time she has ever had a pap smear, and I have never been tested because I had no symptoms, and neither has she. So there was no real reason to be tested until she had this pap smear.. So the question is, can  I have had this for over 8 years without having any symptoms even if I was never tested? thanks
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101028 tn?1419603004
it's unfortunate that you both are already treated and can't do any further confirmatory testing at this point.

fyi - hipaa laws are in place to protect privacy. even though you are her husband, the clinic can't even tell you if your wife was seen at a clinic let alone anything at all about test results.  

is it likely that you had gonorrhea for over 8 years and your wife is just now being diagnosed with it? no it is not.  

grace
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Avatar universal
Oh, and obviously neither of us are infertile, she doesn't have PID, and I don't have epididymitis, something I'd find that we both should have for going untreated for all these years.
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