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Is it possible to determine when someone contracted syphilis ?

I have been in a monogamous sexual relationship with a woman since the beginning of 2018. About 2 months ago she was informed that she had tested positive for syphillis and that she had been infected in 2018.
I had very definitive stage one and two syphillis symptoms that i recall earlier this year around march/april. I have been treated for this recently and was told by my clinician my date of infection was more than likely just prior to my initial stage one symptoms. I was also told that there was no definitive way for them to determine the date of infection.
So how is it her clinician can know when she was infected and mine cannot?
The reason this is relevant to me is because i am being accused of infecting her based on this information provided by her clinician.. information that my clinician cannot provide to me.
Thank you.
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You are saying your girlfriend has had untreated syphilis since 2018?  Was this prior to you being together?  Are you questioning her doctor or her telling you this is what her doctor said?  
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When did you have symptoms?  Was it before the 2018 time frame her doctor gave her?  Were you diagnosed then?  Were you treated?  This is a confusing situation.
She was diagnosed according to her, for the 1st time 2 months ago. She informed me and so I went and got tested and treated for it at that time as well. After learning about the stages, symptoms and their durations, It was clear to me that I had the same exact symptoms earlier this year around march/april, not anywhere near 2018 when she claims i infected her.
I hope that helps a bit?
You can determine it from a primary sore, like you had. That usually appears a few weeks after infection.

To get that, you have to come into direct contact with a syphilis sore, and your sore would appear at the point of infection. If you had a sore on your penis, her sore would be in her mouth (if she gives you oral sex) or her vagina. You can also get it if you came into contact with her rash.

You can get a general timeline from when someone develops secondary syphilis, but that's trickier, since that can start 2 to 8 weeks after you see the chancre sore, and reappear on and off for a couple of years.

If she described symptoms, and knew of a sore she had, and rashes, they might be able to pinpoint that she got it in 2018, but that would be you contracting in March 2020 really suspect, in my opinion. You'd have been more likely to get it in early 2018 when she did. Unless she was still having rashes in March, I don't see how you'd have gotten it in March, and not any time prior.

Have you all had any other STD testing to make sure you are fine on that account, like gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, etc?
Well.. although she has been my only sexual partner since 2018, i have not been her only sexual partner and this is just fact.
Ironically, my chancre appeared within 90 days of one of her flings.
Im pretty certain i know how and why i got it back in march.. but she insists it was me who gave it to her in 2018.
If you got your chancre in March, you were infected within a few months of that time. The chancre always appears within 10-90 days, but the average is 21 days.

That's science. We have over 100 years of syphilis science that bears this out.

Is this an open relationship? She might need to revisit protection in her outside relationships.
Thank you for taking the time to respond and the knowledge offered. On a positive note, my boggle has been resolved.
I emailed the clinic where her clinician practices and presented them with my dillemma and requested a response to the question of "how was it that the 2018 time frame was determined from the data that they acquired from the testing she did there",  and within 48 hours my partner contacted me with an apology and her agreement with my declaration that she too like me, had been infected around the time of her infidelity.
Apparently her clinician reviewed the diagnosis given and  thought to change it.

Thanks again..
You're welcome, but if I may, I'm going to question that the clinician made this diagnosis, or if she did, that she did with the full information. You didn't hear from the clinician, you heard from your partner, who has been less than honest and forthcoming.

Also, I don't know the status of your relationship, and all the details of it, but your partner is putting your health at risk, and continuing to lie to you about it. If you haven't already, you should test for other STDs, including HIV.

I wish you the best.
Oops - *without the full information.
I did get the full panel done and was tested for  all STDs including HIV.. which came back negative.. so thats a good thing.
Glad to hear it. :)

Best of luck to you. Take care. We're always here if you have questions.
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