Most people who have herpes have some kind of symptoms, but they don't realize that's what it is. It is spread so much because people who don't know they have herpes aren't aware that they need to not have sex during outbreaks. In some ways, you really are safer with someone who knows they have herpes than someone who has it and doesn't know it.
About 20% of people with hsv2 will be truly asymptomatic, meaning they have NO symptoms, mild or not. We don't have a great understanding as to why some will have no symptoms and others will have severe symptoms. Part of it is immune system, and some think it depends on how much virus you were exposed to when you were infected. Its also true that those who have hsv1 already will most likely have milder hsv2 infections. It doesn't offer protection against getting hsv2, but hsv1 can temper the hsv2 infection.
AJ
Thank you for your comment. I had read other posts where you referred to either "clean" or "dirty" and wanted to apologize and thank you for correcting me so not to offend others in the future.
Follow up question: I understand it is difficult to spread (3%-4% for men), but then why is it so common. And why is that some people show signs (outbreaks) while others don't. And the ones that don't show initial infection, is it possible to go through their whole life without an outbreak?
Hi there -
First, the odds of getting herpes from a female from a one time protected encounter is very low.
I don't know how many partners she has had, but it only takes one. You could get herpes from anyone, not just someone who has had a lot of partners. You could already have it and not know, as 90% of those with genital hsv2 don't know they have it.
A different feeling is pretty vague, and could be something, or it could be nerves. I have no idea if she was actually std-free (a preferable term to "clean" as that implies those with stds are "dirty", and unless they are in need of a shower, people with stds aren't "dirty"), but the chances of you getting anything from her are slim.
AJ