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Abstinence issue
I (male 51 years old) attempted a 90 day sexual detox together with my wife. The idea is to pursue intimacy on every other level except for sex.The implication is no sexual activity for me (husband) , not even masturbation. I don't seem to get past 12 days without a relapse. Relapse is when my system gets to a semen build up that will cause me to have a release by only contracting the muscles of the penis a few times. I can see that excess semen comes down with my urine that is extremely foamy every time I go. It is increasing over time, while I expected it to decrease. I drink a lot of water, keep healthy with exercise and no sugar and vitamin supplements. I have been going for 43 days with 5 relapses. I have had pain on a scale from 3-10/10 for most of the time. What can I do to break through and sustain 90 days without any sexual activity.
My history:
Difficult childhood, deprivation and separation anxiety. Masturbated regularly (few times per week) until marriage at 27. Wife left me for someone else after 13 years. After divorce fell into porn but always tried to resist. Second marriage a wonderful high frequency of 2-4 times sex per week. Porn problem every now and then, but have been free for months. Realised I have a sex dependency especially because of separation anxiety. Dealing with that. Doing the 90 day fast to bring healing to my marriage in this area.
I desperately want to succeed, but the semen build up seems to get worse every next attempt, with the least amount sexual stimulus a man can have within marriage and no external stimulus. The dopamine runs wild and I get hallucinations, but understand the price of building new neurochemical pathways. I am worried that my testosterone seems to be very high for days on end.
On the positive side, my body has changed unbelievably positively. I look younger, lost weight, v-line is back, muscle tone better etc. My teenagers can't even believe it.
I need a way to overcome the build-up and unwanted ejaculations. As a young person I tried to overcome masturbation, but couldnt get past 4-5 day because of the pain. I cause the relapse by choice by contracting, not even touching, didn't think it was possible, but it becomes to hard to live on the brink of an orgasm for weeks and not to fail during the night when I am half awake and my guard is down. These are not wet dreams, will probably take more than a clean month of abstinence for those to happen, even if it will happen.
Most peers in my world think I am crazy, but my marriage and wonderful wife is worth it.
My history:
Difficult childhood, deprivation and separation anxiety. Masturbated regularly (few times per week) until marriage at 27. Wife left me for someone else after 13 years. After divorce fell into porn but always tried to resist. Second marriage a wonderful high frequency of 2-4 times sex per week. Porn problem every now and then, but have been free for months. Realised I have a sex dependency especially because of separation anxiety. Dealing with that. Doing the 90 day fast to bring healing to my marriage in this area.
I desperately want to succeed, but the semen build up seems to get worse every next attempt, with the least amount sexual stimulus a man can have within marriage and no external stimulus. The dopamine runs wild and I get hallucinations, but understand the price of building new neurochemical pathways. I am worried that my testosterone seems to be very high for days on end.
On the positive side, my body has changed unbelievably positively. I look younger, lost weight, v-line is back, muscle tone better etc. My teenagers can't even believe it.
I need a way to overcome the build-up and unwanted ejaculations. As a young person I tried to overcome masturbation, but couldnt get past 4-5 day because of the pain. I cause the relapse by choice by contracting, not even touching, didn't think it was possible, but it becomes to hard to live on the brink of an orgasm for weeks and not to fail during the night when I am half awake and my guard is down. These are not wet dreams, will probably take more than a clean month of abstinence for those to happen, even if it will happen.
Most peers in my world think I am crazy, but my marriage and wonderful wife is worth it.
COMMUNITY LEADER
You may read a book - Breath to orgasm. or google the words. These exercises are useful to reduce the urge or to increase the sexual performance. In short you master of your sex. People haveing patience like you can be successful.
COMMUNITY LEADER
You are not crazy. you are exploring a wonderful technique. For sexual build up you may search few exercises and practice them. Google each word or phrase.
Abdominal breathing. Practice 10 minutes twice a day.
Circulating sexual urge around microcosmic orbit.
Male deer exercises.
kegel exercises.
Anal peripheral prostate massage. Recently some one gave more weightage to this exercise than kegel exercise.
these are simple exercises. You will succeed as you have a good will power. Your intentions are good. I am sure you will succeed.
Abdominal breathing. Practice 10 minutes twice a day.
Circulating sexual urge around microcosmic orbit.
Male deer exercises.
kegel exercises.
Anal peripheral prostate massage. Recently some one gave more weightage to this exercise than kegel exercise.
these are simple exercises. You will succeed as you have a good will power. Your intentions are good. I am sure you will succeed.
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