Hi Jim, Well my friend you have a mountain to climb, or break down if her bad back come from some kind of sexual postion, you were both trying, remars idea of seeing a doctor is a good odea, but you may need to go deeper with theropy, in her brain she has built a wall, now with some theropy they may be able to put a door in that wall for you with the right kind of knock.
Good Luck
I agree with you. Being in the right position should not cause any problems. Is there anyway you can talk to your wife's Dr about her fears? Drs hear about everything and this subject is no exception.