Dr. Mrs

[nellie67]

I have issues with my husband basically he is gone off me for a very long time and as much as try to talk him over or get him to a
therapsit he refuses
in three different occasions even tried to initate it in bed but he either could not perform or leave it
and he keeps saying he is tired and excuses like this
I dont see him with another and never been like that and assures me gonna be ok and has had so much stresswith a lot too
I have tried all I can think of and this has really taken toll on me and upsetting for a good while I felt he doesnot want me but he assures me not the case
DOnt really know how to deal withthis
specially been to our sex family clininc and she referred me to a therapsit but he refuses to see the doctor. In fact am getting worried for him too
his mood gets bad and even worse sometimes
I have to mention he smokes.
no drink and all work maybe
Thanks a lot

[BStrong]

The symptoms you describe that your husband's experiencing could possibly be caused from his testosterone being too low. There are many things that can cause a mans testosterone levels to drop more rapidly - rather than what is thought to be a more common gradual decline with age. Such as:
High stress
SSRI/ antidepressant medications, and other psychotropic drugs
to name a few..
Google search: 'symptoms of low testosterone' -
'psychological effects of low testosterone' -
Knowledge has power and if you agree there is enough relation - as your opinion is the next best to his very own -  'Proceed with caution!'
“As I know from personal experience.”    
Once you have educated yourself it is important to approach this subject in the most respectful and compassionate way possible. It is “The male hormone” and naturally he will be sensitive X 100 with discussing this matter. There will be an awareness and a clear sense of a threat as his 'masculinity' is being questioned - even at a subconscious level. So what is not happening in the bedroom - sexual performance issues should be avoided as a means of addressing this so sensitive subject.
Communicating your concern so to be convincing and clear that's the angle you are coming from is one of concern  - 'not attack...'
So for him to accept the all seriousness of having his levels checked is going to be extra tricky –  as he already refuses to go to the doctor...
Maybe it'd be helpful to speak to your councilor for his/her recommendations on a means of approaching the subject - if you decide that it's necessary.
Take Care,
BStrong  

[lanxsatura]

Check out some sites on line regarding "sexual addiction" issues.  An author Patrick Carnes might be helpful:  Book title -"Lonely All the Time."  I'm not saying your husband is a porn addict...or a sexual addict.  Read for yourself and see what you think.  If men become addicted to on line sites, for instance, it may make them unable to perform with an in-the-flesh, loving partner.

See COSA site and others like it.  There are support groups for women (even men) who
have partners with fantasy addiction...or other types of sexual addiction.  Good luck!

[tom908]

it's acatualy quite common ;)

[tom908]

A high level of stress can be a casue of this, so see if he is stressed and try to deal with it. You can see your doctor about this sort of thing.

[scot120]

"in three different occasions even tried to initiate it in bed but he either could not perform or leave it "
Is your husband over 40 ? High  blood presser . Maybe he has E.D. and is embarrassed in bed .  I'm sure their is other medical issues that could cause low libido .
    
     http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libido

[redneckmom]

what exactly is your question?