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Sex life
I have been with my husband for almost 6 1/2 years now and we've been married 5 of those years. For the most part, we get along (we fight just like any couple) and we are best friends. There is one huge problem, he hardly ever wants to have sex. If it were up to me, we would have sex once a day! I would say, on average, we only have sex once a week....but there are times that we have gone months without sex and there are times that we've had sex several times a week. On top of that, 1) we only have sex when he wants to! I cant remember the last time I tried to initiate sex and hes wanted to as well. 2) Its been at least a year since he has preformed oral sex or even touched me down there with his hands. When we do have sex, its hit and miss..once again, if he wants to make it good, it will be. Otherwise, I am definatly at his mercy. I dont feel sexy and it makes me feel terrible when he denies me all the time. He tells me that it has nothing to do with me and that for the most part its cause hes always tired ( he works two jobs) help me! thanks
Well it sounds like your at a bit of an impasse, if he's not willing to put out the effort, and you've tried most everything I've suggested already, and your not willing to put out more effort, (I understand you've already put out a lot), then I dont see how you can get past this unless he decides its important to him as well.
Yea and unfortunatly i really have thought about getting that attention from somebody else. I have not done anything like that yet and I dont want to, I just want attention from my man. Today I was really sick ( i get migraines) and he was sweet all day, let me sleep if off and gave me a back rub. We do date nights, we see movies, and have dinner ect... We both have a fantasy, maybe bringing another girl into the mix...because although we do have these issues I TOTALLY trust him and I know ( because of a slew of things I dont have time to get into) that he would never cheat on me. But I am not gonna do this fantasy for him, if he cant make an effort with me.
Its odd because when he does make an effort, he is really good in bed...so its actually more frustrating to me because i know he can do it. We get along well most of the time and i can honestly say that we are best friends, but our sex life does lack a bit and its not because of me. I am not a model, but I always have guys giving me phones numbers ect.... & I have asked him flat out several times if its me and he says no & i make it very clear that all i want is honesty. I am sure I could dress sexy a little more, but when i do that & I still get regected, it hurts even more, ya know? At the same time, he doesnt really do anything to make an effort with me either.... idk, let me know what you think! thanks!
This sounds exactly like my sex life! My bf never wants to & I could everyday. The problem is he has a hard time getting hard sometimes & it only lasts a few mins (like 2). I have reassured him I dont mind but he puts no effort out to satisfy me, never wants to when I am wanting to & seems fine with it not happening for over a month.
I have tried being flirty & suggestive, tried lingerie, tried leaving him pics on his cell of me in the shower, tried morning sex. He enjoys all of that but the still doesn't seem to want to much. It's very frustrating and deff makes me feel unsexy. Have u tried some racey moves like that? How does he react? Is he possibly hiding feeling inadequatcy? ,(personally think this is my man's problem).
I have tried being flirty & suggestive, tried lingerie, tried leaving him pics on his cell of me in the shower, tried morning sex. He enjoys all of that but the still doesn't seem to want to much. It's very frustrating and deff makes me feel unsexy. Have u tried some racey moves like that? How does he react? Is he possibly hiding feeling inadequatcy? ,(personally think this is my man's problem).
This sounds exactly like my sex life! My bf never wants to & I could everyday. The problem is he has a hard time getting hard sometimes & it only lasts a few mins (like 2). I have reassured him I dont mind but he puts no effort out to satisfy me, never wants to when I am wanting to & seems fine with it not happening for over a month.
I have tried being flirty & suggestive, tried lingerie, tried leaving him pics on his cell of me in the shower, tried morning sex. He enjoys all of that but the still doesn't seem to want to much. It's very frustrating and deff makes me feel unsexy. Have u tried some racey moves like that? How does he react? Is he possibly hiding feeling inadequatcy? ,(personally think this is my man's problem).
I have tried being flirty & suggestive, tried lingerie, tried leaving him pics on his cell of me in the shower, tried morning sex. He enjoys all of that but the still doesn't seem to want to much. It's very frustrating and deff makes me feel unsexy. Have u tried some racey moves like that? How does he react? Is he possibly hiding feeling inadequatcy? ,(personally think this is my man's problem).
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Have u told him that your satisfaction is important in keeping other areas of your life happy too. It's hard to feel like cooking a favorite dinner of his or buying him some sort of treat when your out if your resenting him a little for not caring about your needs. Plus not feeling like he wants to satisfy u when u know ye can is an encouraging way to push u into the arms of someone who is paying attention your way. Not saying u would take that step but does he know that his actions could lead to these types of.consequences?
It definitely is frustrating when u put out extra effort only to be rejected. And I agree that sometimes the guy needs to plan some extras for us girls too. All I can say is that open communication about sex is the foundation of a good sex life, but it sounds like your trying to talk to him about it do I dont know what advice to give. I can suggest.a few ideas of how to get him interested but if they dont work...
What about a date night where it is expected to end in the bedroom,.once a week or month? That may hive him enough warning to know the "I'm too tired" excuse wont fly so be prepared. Or if u discuss some fantasies to try, might get him excited to try something he knows you'll enjoy & maybe he.gets a turn next time...