Mental sexual health

[Bethw12345]

Hey,
Not sure if this is the right place to post. I’m a 19 year old girl.
I’m a sex addict, I can’t stop thinking about or getting sex. Last year I found an app that enables this discreet meets with men for sex nothing else.

Since finding his I have become obsessed with older men, I am unable to enjoy sex with anyone younger than 60. The older the better.

I find myself doing more and more dangerous things to keep and satisfy these older men. No protection, turning up to house alone and not telling friends, anal sex, bdsm anything needed!

But my question here is.
1) how do I start enjoying sex with people my own age again
2) how do I control my urges so I can keep safe and keep it to sex that I feel comfortable with.
3) some of these older men comment how young I look and make me RP been underage which I hate how do I stop that
4) eventually I want to settle down with someone is it legal for a 19-20 year old to marry someone older?

[Dadz1990]

Hey,
I was going to leave this, as I’m no expert on this.
But didn’t want to walk past it so hopefully someone else can comment too.

I’m not sure this is the right forum to discuss this, as in the help you need probably can’t be found on a computer.

I do however have some initial thoughts.

Firstly your safety is paramount. Just because you have approached them On an app does not mean they have the authority to do what they want, likewise you have no reason to let them do what they want.

It’s always worth having a discussion about boundaries etc before going, also let a friend know where you are. I’m worried for you turning up to these guys house possible at night.

Condomless sex risks STI and pregnancy if not on pill. Please if you continue to have sex unprotected you test regularly- STI are very sexiest towards women they do you more harm than it does him, don’t rely on them to keep you safe.

In regards to the role play of been underage if you don’t like it then don’t do it! I find it a bit unsestaling reading this, how long before RP is not enough for them and they seek the real thing.

Please stay safe, let me know if any of this is useful but I hope someone else can comment. I am really concerned for you.

[Bethw12345]

Hi,

Please don’t miss understand me, I want this. I’m not been forced into anything. I like to feel used. I like the meets.

Like you said I hate the RP bit because it’s creepy and i have started to stop that.

I just wish I could do this without it risking my health/life: and I wish I could find men my age attractive.

[Dadz1990]

Everyone has different preferences. Some people don’t like sex at all, some same sex, some like chubby, some slim. Etc etc so you can’t help what you like, and as long as it’s legal go for it.

And you are definitely up for it, and understand the relationship. These men are looking at you as an young person. Nothing more.

But you really need to go about it in a safer way that’s all.

I also think you are getting manipulated into doing things you don’t want (otherwise why would you be here) but Like I said I’m no expert on the mind.

[Bethw12345]

I guess you are right, as in I do way more than I should and do put myself at risk and it does scare me sometimes.

I don’t know we’re this obsession comes from  and it’s not entirely something I can talk to my family, friends or even doctor about.

I just don’t know where to turn and i feel like I’m running out of time before something bad happens.

[auntiejessi]

If you think you're obsessed or addicted to this, you should find a therapist and talk about it.

Find one that specializes in sex, sexuality, etc., so they are comfortable discussing sex. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists is a great resource for finding a therapist that specializes, and they are international.

I do think you're on borrowed time before something bad happens. Someday, one of these men won't be nice. :(

[Bethw12345]

Thanks Auntie,

I am 100% addicted to this. Even today I have been with three separate men. One before work once on my lunch and once after. Even talking to dadz and talking about my worries I still persisted.

I’m already on the app looking and talking.

I’m such a mess :-(

[Bethw12345]

help :-(

[auntiejessi]

What's going on?

Have you tried finding a therapist?

What happens if you delete the app? Is there some kind of crisis line where you live? We have a crisis page that may have some for you - https://www.medhelp.org/general-health/articles/MedHelp-Crisis-Resources/1037

In the US and Canada, you can text the Crisis Text Line at 741741.

In the UK, you can text shout to 85258.

If you need another location, google crisis hotline and your location.

[Piecesofme4free83]

I never judge anyone on what they do or like. My opinion is strictly that. To figure out how to move forward with what you want out of this and leave what you don't want behind I'd look up dealing with addiction just for some quick reference points. Doesn't matter what the addiction is, it's just different subject matter and what feeling the person prefers as their vice. I have one question and don't take offense. Are there any drugs involved? Only asking because I know some of them will heighten your sexual desires. In particular meth. But I'd imagine you'd have the desire for more partners other than just older aged. You can start by asking yourself what it is about the older person that makes the your go to for a partner. Something with looks, maturity, maybe they're more inclined to fall all over you because they don't get younger girls alot or ever. I'm sure you know what it is that differs from what gets you and what doesn't. Is multiple people a day because you want to keep having the intense orgasms (definitely understandable) or is it because you're not having them like you'd like? Maybe see if there is a site where guys like to roll play being an elderly man with a younger woman. Not really sure but with the internet I'm almost positive there's something. Would you be inclined to get in a relationship with an elderly gentleman or is a relationship not in the cards? If it is then it might save you all the time looking and setting up the hookups, cuts out risk factors and you just might end up being well taken care of. With men they're either built to protect, most are dogs but even most of them won't hurt women physically (I hope), or they're   predators. I'm inclined to think that a genuinely decent guy probably wouldn't be available to find on sites for this kind of thing so within this crowd of guys I'm positive there's a bad apple in the mix. Please be safe. Minimum let someone know where you're at or leave location on on your phone. I have a guy friend that we talk about any crazy **** you can imagine that we do t talk to anyone else about. If you have one then atleast confide in them. IDK how you go about setting these encounters up but my advise would be, don't be telling them that this is an addiction, you can't control it, you can't help but to let them do what they want or anything that's gonna make sure to get the attention of an ******* that's gonna go too far or even come close to it. You won't know it's not roll play til it's too late. If you shrug off the warnings because the temptation is stronger than the risk think about it like this.. if you were forced to not be able to go do this for even a day how would that effect you. Or whatever amount of time without would be unbearable. Now you may not have that feeling but only for the fact that you're not with us anymore. If someone should go the extent then these encounters won't exist anymore. A day without or a vetting process may take longer but there will still be another one that way. I don't know your appearance but I'm sure along your day to days you catch the eye of a decent guy. You'd have to catch his glance because they're not the ones that are gonna jump in your face with some dumb pick up line. Grab him up and ask if he'd like to participate in your thing. If he's says yes, he will if you dont pose the danger of disease or using him to get pregnant. If the character of the guy doesn't matter or you don't want a partner just ignore this. But anyway a one night stand of any age can be whatever age you want them to be with the lights off. I'd say why not do yourself a favor and make some money off your addiction but that would be the only thing that makes your addiction illegal. Too hard to tax I guess lol. Anyway just some thoughts. I don't know you but you still deserve to be respected and safe. Or atleast not past the point that you have the line drawn. If I were single I'd first take you for a test and then help you try different things to help you find what works and is safer and comfortable to you. Problem solver here lol. Non of my grandfather's are here either or I'd try to help you out. I wish you the best. P.s. keep a mental note that in all encounters you're almost 100% of the time giving them a gift that they don't get often rather than making it seem like this is what you need and that you're desperate. Difference of what you put in their head right there. Set some boundaries ahead of time.