Aa
I have to beg for sex.
My husband and I have been together for almost a year now. We have been married for almost 7 months now and right before we tied the knot and moved in together, sex slowed down majorly. Mind you, I'm 18 and he is only 20.
I'm getting very tired of begging and I always feel like there is something wrong with me . I know that men can lose sexual drive when under stress, but JESUS, it doesn't seem to matter whether we have a good day or not. There has been countless times where I try to be coy about asking/hinting/attempting and it never seems to work. We used to have sex atleast once a day, sometimes even twice. Now, we get into huge arguements and I cry. I feel like such a child when I get so upset, but it's the one thing that him and I share and it isn't JUST sex! Without sounding naive I know that he isn't cheating on me. I don't know what to do, should I just wait it out? Should I just wait for him to come on to me, because when I do...it never seems like he wants to, more like he just wants to shut me up! Gosh, I'm so sick of this...please help.
I'm getting very tired of begging and I always feel like there is something wrong with me . I know that men can lose sexual drive when under stress, but JESUS, it doesn't seem to matter whether we have a good day or not. There has been countless times where I try to be coy about asking/hinting/attempting and it never seems to work. We used to have sex atleast once a day, sometimes even twice. Now, we get into huge arguements and I cry. I feel like such a child when I get so upset, but it's the one thing that him and I share and it isn't JUST sex! Without sounding naive I know that he isn't cheating on me. I don't know what to do, should I just wait it out? Should I just wait for him to come on to me, because when I do...it never seems like he wants to, more like he just wants to shut me up! Gosh, I'm so sick of this...please help.
It could be the stress of being married, working, supporting a family and other things could be wearing him out, so he is not in the mood for sex. Also, sex does not happen everyday after you get married, sometimes it doesn't happen every other day when you are married. That does not mean you don't love each other, it just means that you now have to start dealing with real life.
Haha, thanks. I don't think you can be more affirmative than I am. At times I get so frustrated that I will literally just jump on him and say "THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO AND SINCE YOU'RE NOT, I'M GOING TO F*** YOU!". The thing about not being sexually compatible, maybe...but he used to beg for it. I think he is mainly stressed and we have sex in the same places. I don't mind the outdoors, or even PDA, but he freaks out. And I totally agree, people who say that I need to chill out and sex isn't everything, well...how's that saying go "SEX IS LIKE AIR, IT'S NOT IMPORTANT UNTIL YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY."
Wow, my problem is sort of similar. boyfrind works and Im home all the time. We have tons of sex but if there ever isa time we dont its because he doesnt want to. its frustrating and does hurt alot and NO its NOT ABOUT just the sex its a lot more about love than anyone so far has stated. The giving him oral thing has worked for me, and also offering to do all the work sometimes and f**k him instead. they like that. I would like to know more in detail about how it goes when YOU DO have sex. it might not be spectacular and then he might not be looking forward to a next time. and honestly some people just aren't sexually compatible. even if they love each other dearly. If this is the case after all else fails then either move on or both of you have agree to try and change this, sex is very important in a deeply loving relationship especially if you're young. sex should be amazing all the time. like being in your own porno everytime. Nothing is wrong with you at all sweetie, although you need to be more affirmative and get in his face if he won't talk. dont be a doormatt hon. it might be just what he needs. good luck.
You are correct. Making a threat is wrong. Guess I should of stated that with tact. Blondie2334
I have tried lingerie, he couldn't careless. I walk around the house nude sometimes, doesn't work. And don't even think about giving him "oral" asleep or awake just out of no where, because it won't happen. And it isn't just sex! He doesn't seem to want to be around me. And if he wanted to spend time with buddies, he would. I don't hold him back. But when I offer for him to hang out with friends of mine, he won't. We also have a lot of mutual friends (friends that were his prior to me) and when they ask to hang out, I'm down, but then he says he doesn't want to.
I don't believe sex is everything or that it equals love. I was very "active" prior to him and that was just sex. But when someone that you DO love doesn't like to leave the house (with me or anyone at that), won't even take a 5 minute walk to the lake, and will only sit on the couch as soon as he walks in the door, then...turns you down majority of the time when you try to engage in something more than sex. It's not like I scream "JUST F**K ME!" I feel like it's one of the many things we can do together that him and I can only do that provides a feeling of more than just physical plesaure.
Just like watching movies all the time bothers me, it's repetitive, and I know sex everyday can be the same, and then looses it's value. I'm not asking for that, I'm just tired of 8 months of rejection and then once we do, it feels like he doesn't want to. Talking to him seems impossible. He always says I am over reacting. I've asked him if he feels like he regrets marriage (in a nice way) and he says only when we argue, but it's worth it and he wouldn't want to be with anyone else.
He used to be majorly into drugs before (addictive drugs) and he has been clean for 2 years (he is in the service), he doesn't drink and he also told me, he starts to get "itchy" when he goes out because a lot of people who are at parties are doing coke. I never knew that. I don't have a problem going out because I've never done anything addictive...actually nothing besides marijuana. He doesn't drink (which all of his buddies do) because of his views from his family and how some have ruined their lives due to it.
He isn't your average 20 year old Sailor. He doesn't party, doesn't drink, and doesn't do drugs.
I don't believe sex is everything or that it equals love. I was very "active" prior to him and that was just sex. But when someone that you DO love doesn't like to leave the house (with me or anyone at that), won't even take a 5 minute walk to the lake, and will only sit on the couch as soon as he walks in the door, then...turns you down majority of the time when you try to engage in something more than sex. It's not like I scream "JUST F**K ME!" I feel like it's one of the many things we can do together that him and I can only do that provides a feeling of more than just physical plesaure.
Just like watching movies all the time bothers me, it's repetitive, and I know sex everyday can be the same, and then looses it's value. I'm not asking for that, I'm just tired of 8 months of rejection and then once we do, it feels like he doesn't want to. Talking to him seems impossible. He always says I am over reacting. I've asked him if he feels like he regrets marriage (in a nice way) and he says only when we argue, but it's worth it and he wouldn't want to be with anyone else.
He used to be majorly into drugs before (addictive drugs) and he has been clean for 2 years (he is in the service), he doesn't drink and he also told me, he starts to get "itchy" when he goes out because a lot of people who are at parties are doing coke. I never knew that. I don't have a problem going out because I've never done anything addictive...actually nothing besides marijuana. He doesn't drink (which all of his buddies do) because of his views from his family and how some have ruined their lives due to it.
He isn't your average 20 year old Sailor. He doesn't party, doesn't drink, and doesn't do drugs.
One other thing, since you posted you're fairly young (18). Sex does not equal love. The absence of sex does not equal the absence of love. The amount to which you and your partner have sex does not indicate *absolutely* how much he loves you. Your husband knows you're unhappy and is choosing to avoid the issue because (1) he doesn't know how to fix it, and (2) is afraid that you will be very upset by what he has to say. Pushing him even harder for something he doesn't want to do *will* make things worse (just as it would with a woman, or any human being for that matter).
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