hymen issues

[29102009]

I'm a virgin and i just got married, I've never used tampons or put anything in my vagina.  My husband and I were trying to have sex, for the first 2 times he couldn't even get the tip in.  Now he got the tip in but cant seem to break my hymen and if he tried too hard I just cant stand the pain.  Should I keep trying or go to a dr to get it surgically open ?

[crystalfresh]

And not all women have a hymen. The muscles will close the entrance, not important, you don't need to look inside. You're only looking for a tightly stretched layer covering the outside just under the lips. You may not see a hymen, may not have one. Ok you know all that I know. Congrats on getting married. !!!!

[crystalfresh]

Imaging slipping in the shower and doing a full side split. Bet that would hurt! I bet that's the same feeling you felt. Muscles tearing. Just be sure the hymen is open. Some cases it's fully closed with a 1/4" opening. If that's the case see a doctor. But rarely the case.

Here are some images you might see. Illustrations - drawings. remember you will need to use your fingers to open to look inside about 1 inch.

Normal Fine - no pain expected.
http://www.fotosearch.com/LIF145/ped11011/
http://www.fotosearch.com/LIF145/ped11014/

-----------------------------------------------
Depends on how thick the middle part is.
http://www.fotosearch.com/LIF145/ped11017/

-----------------------------------------------
Definitely go to a doctor.
http://www.fotosearch.com/LIF145/ped11015/
http://www.fotosearch.com/LIF145/ped11013/
http://www.fotosearch.com/LIF145/ped11017/

[crystalfresh]

A lot of the time with enough lube inside and out the hymen does not even have to tear in all cases it will stretch to fit. I'd say the first time the man is in should be as slow as 20-45 minutes before going all the way in. New muscles have to stretch. Much of the pain is these muscles tearing. WRONG AND BAD!!!! Yea, that hurts like a knife. But if slow with globs of lube and I mean really slow over 20+ minutes, not only will there be NO PAIN it will feel amazing with the right person you care about. Seriously I mean zero pain! Even if there is discomfort the good feeling should completely mask out anything that hurts and you won't even know until after. Later you can feel slight soreness in the muscles since it is the first time they were used. Still no pain after. Hope this helped.

[crystalfresh]

Dripping heavy on the lube. The pain sounds more like tense muscles not the hymen. The hymen tears very easily usually unexpected easily.

I would look in the mirror or use small mirror and look to see what the hymen looks like. Some women are closed off almost completely. If this is the case go to a doctor. If it is open (you will need to use fingers or something to push away skin to look) then it will stretch. The muscles if tense will be rather painful.

Many women go though this the first time. Either he is very large or you might be nervous. DO NOT FORCE IT!!!!! If he needs to force it you body needs more warm up.

Your first time can have lasting impressions for a long time. You don't want to remember it being painful. It shouldn't be painful at all. No pain at all just pleasure. Maybe in some cases pressure but not pain. Pain says something is not ready.

There are muscles down there that need to relax and open. They do open because babies fit through. You can't go running with out stretching first. Sex is no different. Might take fingers to get started and work up to it. Might take an hour. Take your time and only proceed with what feels good. You body will produce lube. If no lube your body is not ready yet or you are to tense. Also use lots of external lube and take it slow. 1/4 inches at a time. No rush. Let him use fingers first, when your body is ready you won't have any pain. Pain is bad, means you are not relaxed.

The hymen can sting for a moment (seconds) unless unusually closed in which case I would see a doctor to open it a bit. You can use a mirror to view it.

As long as it takes, you waited this long take your time and relax. Nervous=pain. The hymen will tear if you have one easier than a tissue. I strongly don't think its the hymen. Lube will help it stretch rather than tear. You need to insert lube inside as well before trying. If you feel discomfort tell him to stop! Backout and take it slower. as long as it takes. Only do what feels good and it will happen. And you will be quite pleased with a different kind of feeling.

[iam1butterfly]

If you haven't already tried... consider using a lubricant.