Low female libido

[simsima]

I am married for 3 years till now. My problem that most of the time I do not have any sex drive. During honey moon, I wasn't interested in sex, intercourse was painfull and it took quite too long to open my vagina (knowing that I was a vergin). My husband is sexually active, and we always have problems that he wants sex while I don't. It sometimes takes upto a month to have an intercourse. I do not feel normal orgasm during the intercourse unless my husband stimulates me with his hand, and I then get orgasm, but it would be before he enters me. So when the intercourse happens I don't feel anything but pain.

I have a history of GAD, OCD, depression and stress, not sure if those play part in my complaint. I saw my doctor who gave me medications, but did not work with me.
I as well use to masturbate during teenage, would this have a negative impact on my sex life.
I have problems of vaginal discharge now, and I feel pain during the intercourse as if I someone put pepper in my vagina.

I have an issue of PCO as well and infertility problems, does this contribute to the problem.
What shall I do, as my husband is very upset with me, and is threateningto leave me.

[jml1986]

Everything you have described medically could have a big inpact on your sex drive. Depression meds are really hard on the libido. They do not make it impossible to reach orgasm, but they do make it harder to get to that point. With that being said, you could also be having vaginal dryness. This can be taken care of with some lubricant such a KY. As for reaching orgasm, most women do not orgasm with penetration. Clitorial stimulation is usually required for women to reach orgasm. So you may find that combining penetration with clitorial stimulation may do the trick. However if you continue to have painful intercourse after trying all the above, you really need to see a ob/gyn. I learned after years of painful sex, that it did not have to be that way. My problem was that my uterous was tilted so far back that it made penetration very painful. For me having a  hysterectomy did the trick. I am not saying that is what your problem is, I am just saying don't do like I did and wait 25 years to find out that you did not have to suffer and can have a very normal sex life with your husband.

[ErinMichelle1985]

i can sort of relate, ive been married almost 3 years now, was a virgin when i got married so needless to say i was very inexperienced.  I have what i consider a low libido my husband is lucky if i want sex more than twice a week but we have gone 4 weeks before.  I blame mine on the Birth control pill which i recently went off of and so far very slowly ive gotten more of a libido.  One thing you could try was you said if your husband stimulates you with his hand before sex you can orgasm but then afterward it hurts to have sex....thats normal generally the vagina is a little sore right after orgasm so why dont you  try having your husband stimulate you during insertion....thats what we do and it totally works!  well i hope that helps a little like i said im still inexperienced when it comes to issues like this but i know that was something that helped because the more orgasms you have the more excited about sex you get.