Aa
Not interested in Sex!
I need some serious help here. I'm 20 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. I have no doubt in my mind that my love is still strong for him. Everything is almost great....EXCEPT, I'm never horny or in the mood to have sex with him. It makes me so depressed because I don't know what's wrong and it hurts his feelings that I always turn him down. I use to get horny so easily and we would have sex at least 5+ times a week. Now, it's barely 5 times every 4 months! We have been living together for about a year and a half now and it just started getting this way about 7 months ago. I'm always tired or stressed out from work, I work a full time job as does he but it doesnt affect his wants like it does me. I am on borth control and I read that some birth controls have hormones that can affect your sex life. HELP please. Any advice. Thanks.
Best Answer
"I'm always tired or stressed out from work, I work a full time job " will take away anyone's sex drive hun. Just sayn. And the loss of your sex drive isn't just the result of one action in your life. You are under a lot of pressure no doubt and believe me that is just as much a deal breaker as jumping into an ice lake. It is only a matter of time before it is back. Perhaps after you finally get to where you want to be. If you are not willing to wait that long then take a few vacations aways from the stress. I am shocked at how little you have sex. I thought I had it bad off. We have slowed down after ten years of marriage. From 2 to three times a day to once a day or maybe 5 times in a 7 day week. Another thing, and yes it matters, is your boyfriend sexy to you? Is he going out of his way to look good and take care of himself? You know, like shave his harry balls for you. That kinda stuff. Things you want him to do? Does he make you feel bad for not having sex with him? These are all pressures if you answer yes and a women is all mental. So the equation could also equal a kill to your sex drive even your hard drive! A good sex relationship doesn't happen over night. I have enjoyed learning new things about my hubby and exploring my deep sexuality in the past ten years. You have to try. And I am only going off what you have written so by "try" I mean... Do something you and him have not done yet. Try calling in sick and taking a whole day to have sex. Weather you like it or not. Because sometimes your car battery needs a Jump and sometimes it takes all day at the shop to get it up and running. Now I am not saying this is a cure-all but it is worth a try to get back on the right track. Think of it as the law of Inerita...Things in motion, tend to want to stay in motion. Get the right motion back and keep it building momentum. Hope this helps. don't give up and don't think it is you. This is just a tiny obstacle. Are you up for the challenge? You are a women, stronger then you think. Take a moment to gain your confidence back and realize you can tackle this and turn it around so ten years from not you will be offering this advice. Good luck hun.
I think you need to move on. You have grown bored in the relationship and it has not moved to the next level. Time to find someone who can make you feel in love for the rest of your life!
OHHHH, Now I see why he is watching porn so often ;-)
OK, girls, please allow me to shime in. Yes, being tired can get anyone of the mood to get in the sack but please keep in mind that SEX is the best way to relieve stress, and humans need it. Like Magdelenna Said, you need to call off and get off.
This behavior is a vicious circle and it needs to STOP. Check it out.
If you are not horny, you wont want to have sex, if you wont want to have sex you will turn your BF down as soon as he tries, if you turn him down too much he will give up trying, if he does not try he wont make you horny, if you are not horny you wont want to have sex... Do you see where I am going here? The fact is that you have to sometimes suck it up and just let him do things and see where it goes. You are living together, if you deny sex, he is going to start looking at porn (like he already is according to your other post), cheat, and possible leave. Do not think that sex drives men but men need sex no less than woman need emotional support.
I used to date this one girl and every time I tried to kiss her while we where in bed she will stop me because she was not in the mood. One day I had enough and ignored her request to stop, I kept kissing her and tickling her. Soon she started laughing and all of the sudden she is on top of me ridding my like a rodeo bull. See, she was not in the mood at the beginning but she was not allowing herself to let me take her into the mood. After we where done, she was sitting there waiting for me to recoup to go for the second round. We didn't go to church the next day and spend the entire Sunday in the bedroom. I wanted to stop at points but she was possessed. After that, she never say no to me again. One day she was so tired that we agreed to go to sleep but set the alarm for an hour earlier the next day and go at it.
Perhaps, this is why he has turned to porn.
OK, girls, please allow me to shime in. Yes, being tired can get anyone of the mood to get in the sack but please keep in mind that SEX is the best way to relieve stress, and humans need it. Like Magdelenna Said, you need to call off and get off.
This behavior is a vicious circle and it needs to STOP. Check it out.
If you are not horny, you wont want to have sex, if you wont want to have sex you will turn your BF down as soon as he tries, if you turn him down too much he will give up trying, if he does not try he wont make you horny, if you are not horny you wont want to have sex... Do you see where I am going here? The fact is that you have to sometimes suck it up and just let him do things and see where it goes. You are living together, if you deny sex, he is going to start looking at porn (like he already is according to your other post), cheat, and possible leave. Do not think that sex drives men but men need sex no less than woman need emotional support.
I used to date this one girl and every time I tried to kiss her while we where in bed she will stop me because she was not in the mood. One day I had enough and ignored her request to stop, I kept kissing her and tickling her. Soon she started laughing and all of the sudden she is on top of me ridding my like a rodeo bull. See, she was not in the mood at the beginning but she was not allowing herself to let me take her into the mood. After we where done, she was sitting there waiting for me to recoup to go for the second round. We didn't go to church the next day and spend the entire Sunday in the bedroom. I wanted to stop at points but she was possessed. After that, she never say no to me again. One day she was so tired that we agreed to go to sleep but set the alarm for an hour earlier the next day and go at it.
Perhaps, this is why he has turned to porn.
How long have you been on this peticular birth control? If your lack of desire matches of with the length of time you have been on this birth control then you may want to have the doctor prescribe you something new. If not, I would still see your doctor, he/she may have a better understanding of what is going on and may be able to tell you what you can do about it.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Sexual Health Community
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
